You just never know

This weekend it will be a year since we fled Indiana to the relative safety of a place the Ogre didn't know to look for us.

Though looking at my blogs from then, I knew I was in love with Justin - truth be told, I've been in love before and it didn't pan out well. Little did I know what was really going on - and how, it seems, God had everything well in hand to get us together - and let us be happy.

I feel like sometimes I gush - but the amazement at how things turned out just overwhelms me at times. Truth is, both Justin and I were sure that by moving into the same house our relationship would be over. Funny how you see your own shortcomings so clearly - and how it can convince you that no one would ever want to put up with _____ (insert shortcoming here). I worried that the instant three-child famly would be too much for him - or that he would begin to see my broad behind as I do - he worried that his bachelor habits would be to weird - or that I would get tired of how fast his brain goes in ten different directions. There were other things, too, but the upshot is that we both thought we were doomed to failure.

Girlfriends are easier to manage long distance - and neither of us thought we were in a place where we were ready to committ - thus the 6 months spent in the same house even though we weren't discussing marriage. But Justin was my friend's friend before I ever met him, she told me I could trust him with my children and my life - and I did. I didn't have anyplace else that the Ogre wouldn't have known about , so this was the logical choice. I decided to sacrifice my budding romance for the safety of my famliy - and amazingly enough it worked out.

There was this turning point - for me it was around Thanksgiving when we went to see my friends in Tsaile and Albuquerque. When all of a sudden things just started to click and we were a family. It was when my friend Jim Davis was talking to Justin - we were outside of his house, surrounded by the dogs and pine trees and the wind was blowing... he said " I don't know what you have done to her, but she looks better than I have ever seen her" When I started to change back into my real self, it showed on the outside - my buddy picked that up - of course he did, he's pretty remarkable.

All the stories of refugees from Katrina have kept me reflecting on how difficult it is to leave everything you know and start over - at least our things were in storage - but there were lots of things that I left because there just wasn't time to pack it all up. But they are just things, and what was most important made it here.... and nearly a year later, my life has been blessed -everything that the Ogre tried to take from me has been restored - a good husband, happy kids, flock of ducks, pack of dogs and land with lots of trees. You just never know what God will do - or what He is working on hidden from what we see.