Reciprocity

I am not sure what compels me to feel lik it is my responsibility to visit my friends and family, but I have made this my task over the last few years. In the past year I have been to:
Overland Park, Kansas
Tsaile Arizona
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Gulf Shores, Alabama
Crossville, Tennessee
Lafayette, Indiana
Mann, West Virginia
Indianapolis, Indiana
Buffalo, Indiana
South Carolina, though I cannot remember the name of the town.

With the exception of one friend and her husband who came for the wedding and my uncle who lives in town who also came for the wedding, no one has been to my house. This weekend, we will have been here for a year, and the message I am receiving loud and clear is that I am obligated to visit and make sure the kids visit, but no one is obligated to visit me. ( Lora you are exempt here - I know why you can't come) I am so tired of hearing that I am not communicating enough - that I am not making the kids accessible enough - you know what - if you want to see us that badly, make a trip down and stop tying up my lines of communication complaining. I will not pick up the phone if I know that 10 minutes of each conversation will be about how inadequately I have nmet your needs - they are your needs and your responsibilty, not mine. Call on the phone and talk to the kids after school, call in the evening - if you want to talk to us, call and if I have to get off the phone don't be angry, be understanding. I am doing this with three kids and a full time job - no maid, no part time job at home - I am genuinely busy and that busy-ness is not because I am trying to avoid talking to my friends and family - or keep the kids away from thier non-custodial parent, I am busy. The loner way is to see a problem and fix it - stop complaining and find a solution. I am no longer going to justify how I spend my time to the people who are complaining - I have a family to raise and a full time job - that is the reality here.