Thanks a lot buddy

To the person who designed our office - so that if you have to use the restroom with thin walls bordering all the offices so that EVERYONE in the other offices can hear you pee - even with the water on....

To the person who decided to move football practice for the boys to the SAME TIME at fields twenty minutes apart - so that I have to drive like a mad woman to get there

To the doctor at Purina who informed me via e-mail that ducks and goats are two very different breeds and should have different foods (Holy mazoley, they are in my back yard, I think I can see that they are different breeds, Einstein.)

To my children who have the sudden need to call me nine times in one day to ask about masking tape, ice cream availability, and a chin strap while I am trying to teach.

To the policeman who came to practice last night and gave out tickets for parking in the circle by our field since the parking lot is about half a mile away and it is 90 degrees and our kids are in full gear. So glad you weren't doing something more constructive like chasing down pedophiles - those tickets should bring some great revenue.

To the spider who keeps making a web in the cellar - knock it off - I am so tired walking into your web every morning!

To the doctors who sent me this morning's prize patient - a guy wearing an insulin pump who has no idea that it is giving him 2 units an hour and no concept of how to give his insulin at mealtime. Great job letting this guy wear a pump for the last three weeks - lucky he isn't in intensive care.

To Justin's company who are causing everyone in the group to work ungodly hours to try to keep up - thanks a lot, we're newlyweds and I have to give up my evenings and weekends to the stupid FRS and project work, falling asleep to the sounds of him typing instead of kissing me good night.

To my Prizm which just endured $3,000 in repairs, thank you for having the tail lights out inconveniently during a period of time where I cannot drop you off at the dealership to get fixed. I look forward to the ticket I'll probably get from the above mentioned police man.

To the charts that keep disappearing - march your little butts back into the file like you belong. I have enjoyed playing hide and seek with you, but I'm over that now, you need to go back.

To the air conditioner and refrigerator who decided that this week of 90 degree weather would be a good time to go on the fritz - I'm hot and cranky and it isn't gong to be pretty when I take a sledge hammer and beat the snot out of you for making my butter rancid and my spinach salad mushy.