You and I don't always agree - we don't always see eye to eye. Growing up I think each of us thought the other had an advantage - you envied my brains, I envied your athleticism. But each of us was complete in and of ourselves, but who knows that when they are children.
We have both struggled over the years, and it seems that finally my personal struggle is over. I have always struggled with feeling like I was not good enough - and you have struggled the same. Maybe it was being adopted - the knowledge that there was someone who was willing to give us up - or maybe it was obstacle after obstacle that seemed to interfere with the life we had planned out.
When I came to get you in March, I needed your help. I don't ask for help without really being in desperate need - and when you opted to make your own decision, rather that following my plan - I felt helpless and angry and frustrated. I never felt that I didn't love you anymore - or that I didn't want to talk to you anymore. But you hurt me, and I expected an apology.
But I forgot that things are different for you - that you have demons and difficulties I cannot even imagine - so waiting for an apology was selfish and I am ashamed of my own behavior. I know better- and I know that there are things which need to be said.
Who cares who was right - who cares who was hurt - these things are passed - and in the grand scheme of things my little bout of being pissed was probably good for us. We were both honest and that is always a good thing. What matters is our future - having someone always cheering for you in your corner - that is my job. I'm calling you today because frankly, it doesn't matter who did what, it only matters that you are the only brother I have - and I'm keeping you.
Called my brother - he didn't have much to say - only that he wondered how long it was going to take me to call. Guess Hell would have frozen over before I got an apology. Sometimes taking the high road really sucks.
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