New word of the day - Forgiveness

I struggled on Sunday evening and Monday morning with my hateful feelings toward our dogs. What happened was worse than any horror movie I have ever seen - especially because it was in real life. I talked to the humane society - it would only give them 10 days, then put them to sleep. I called several local rescue groups - but they never called me back with any information about getting the pups in.

When I came home last night, I let them out of the kennels and into their fenced yard. Couldn't love on them at all - and though they know they are in trouble, they don't seem to understand why. I spent 20 minutes and a good deal of blood putting chicken wire over the spot where they had gotten out of their pen on Sunday. I didn't want to be in there with the girls - it just hurts too much.

Then, the lady who is going to dog sit for us - well multiple pet sit - for us came over. I started with the dogs - Bear, Scout and the girlsI introduced her to the dogs and the girls were their charming selves - slobbering wagging their tails furiously. We talked about how they could point and how friendly they were - and that they might make good hunting dogs given the right training. And then it happened, the hate started to fade away as I thought more and more about the things I loved about the dogs. They were our babies, too - we spent a lot of time loving them, playing with them, training them - and it shows. But all of that couldn't override their instincts.

Any option which might lead to their being put to sleep is no longer an option. I love them too much, though I am exceptionally put out by their hunting behavior. I have posted an ad at work - and asked a couple of friends who have hunting dogs to help us find a good home for them.

There has been enough loss and enough sadness, I want to be able to look back and see that we did the best we could with the dogs - I want to have some peace and closure with this.

With forgiveness comes hope - knowing that we will be home for a week before we go get the kids - I am trying to get the duck pen refortified and ready for more occupants.

Fourth of July weekend we are picking up kids - and kids. My cousin has a fiance who raises pygmy goats - and we are going to get a couple of baby girls. Then the week of the 4th - we'll be receiving a batch of ducks in a box. Increasing the flock - increasing the joy. Keep plugging away at the dream until it happens.