The Day Before You

Have you heard the song by Rascal Flats by this name? If you are waiting for that person to come along, it brings some solace.

This is a week of reflection - since I am turning 39 on Monday and I have started this new life. I love the line from You've Got Mail when Kathleen Kelly ( Meg Ryan) is told that she is very brave to dream of a new future, a new life.

Last year on June 3rd, I had spent the night with the kids at Jim and Brenda's house in Wheatfields, Arizona. They were good hosts and I had blue curaco margaritas the night before until my sides hurt from laughing. That morning we got up, got our things together and headed back to Albuquerque to see Stephanie. She finally found the right man and was getting married to him in two days, and I got to be in the wedding. I was feeling pretty quiet. The morning before I found out that the Ogre had let my dog out of the 6-foot fence and she had gotten hit and killed on the interstate. He denied letting her out, but unless she grew opposable thumbs, there was no other way it could have happened. I had talked to him the morning before and thoughts of losing sweet Chloe kept climbing back to the surface.

The drive took us about 4 hours - unfortunately, the boys had covered themselves in Rez dirt and were way past disgusting, so we checked in early to the Days Inn in Bernalillo. I did have the good sense to feed them from Sonic - which we didn't have in Indiana - before stopping at the hotel - single mom trick - keep them fed if you want them to behave.

I left the kids to bathe and swim and went to meet Steph and the rest of the wedding party at the Nail Salon. As usual - I was late. Sorry Steph. The salon was relaxing - though I still think the lady filed my nails down way too far. I got to meet Magnolia, one of Steph's aunts who is a massage therapist. There is a gal you want to have come over so you can get drunk and laugh about life. What a great lady. Also there was her mom, mom's best friend Anita, sister in-law Janene - whom I just adore - and Erin -Steph's best friend from Chicago - who is always fun, always gracious and a joy to be around. We Midwesterners have to stick together!

After the nail session, we were supposed to meet at the Albuquerque Isotopes Stadium for a ball game about an hour later. I got back to the hotel and Jerra and I decided to mess with my hair by putting in some highlights. The Ogre wanted my hair auburn, so I was doing my best to silently protest by making it blonde. That being done, we fished the boys out of the pool and brought them upstairs to get dressed while I hopped in the shower. Once in the shower, I heard a knock on the door. Jake answered it and let in our friend and former neighbor, Larry. He had seen the kids downstairs. Unfortunately, when I came out in a towel, Larry was still there. He said that he didn't realize I was up for that much skin - and if I would wait a minute, he'd get rid of the kids and be right back. I was so far past embarrassed - probably red up to my eyeballs. I shooed him out of the room and got everyone else ready.

The pants I was going to wear to the game had been accosted by my 9 year old with some sort of blueness - I think from the slush - so I had to wear my white linen skirt. I threw on makeup - though I finished it up in the car. I remember looking in the mirror thinking how old I looked, then being so thankful that I had gotten to see Helen and Barb, Jim and Brenda and that I just felt better being on the Reservation.

Then we piled into the Cherry Van and hopped the interstate to the baseball game. The drive was noisy - Jake and Josh bouncing in the back seat like their shorts were on fire. I was not looking forward to the game, it was hot and I was tired of running all day long. We parked and walked across the street.

Jake was out ahead of us and bounded to the top of the stairs. I saw Steph's dad and the rest of the party. There was a guy in a grey shirt with big pink flamingos with them. Jake was in his flame/dragon red and orange shirt in a similar design. He reached the top of the stairs first and went up to the man. Later I learned that he bumped into him, body slamming hello. I looked for the rest of the group while trying to keep and eye on Jake. After the group settled on tickets, I went over to the man, who was with the group. I wasn't sure who he was since Steph had invited a couple of old friends as well as some of Mark's college buddies.

I apologized to the man since now Jake was standing arm and arm with him, walking in the stadium as though they had been friends forever. He said Jake was fine and walked in to sit down. I remember vividly thinking that he was very kind and looked very tired.

That is my first memory of Justin, and the last memory I have of feeling alone in the world.

We have both written about that night - how we talked about Harry Potter and politics and religion and fatigue and fibromyalgia and dating and the Ogre and kids and a hundred other things. I remember that he drank beer, ate nachos with too many jalepenos on them and had blue eyes the same color as Jacob's. Steph turned around as did her mom, a couple of times when we got too loud, laughing about one thing or another and asked what was going on - we both replied nothing - but apparently we were mistaken.

Neither of us have any idea who won the game - oddly enough it just occurred to me that we haven't bothered to ask about it yet.
It is a story of divine intervention or luck or chance or whatever you want to call it. To me it is just proof that you never know which day will be "the day before you".