The last week has been tough and I have reached my saturation point - where the nearly constant crappy news doesn't even phase me. I have asked various family members to help - with nary a word. So much for asking them for help - and if I ever hear again that I dont ask for help when I should I am old enough now to remind them of these dark days when they didn't even return my phone calls.
But my friends did - I even heard from my two friends who still work on teh Reservation - totally unsolicited - and it made me feel better - and like I am not alone. My girls Steph, Tammy, Lora and even Alison called me - so in the same breath I am complaining I have to be thankful that I have people who care enough to call.
In other news, I am covering at work for a woman who has made my life hell for the past year and a half with her passive aggressive antics - and I am struggling with doing kind things for a person who is such an ass. That being said, I will do the right thing, but I ain't happy about it.
I have been covering for her after I see my outpatients - so I have a stack of charts the size of Montana and only I can do them. I did decide this was "prayer meeting" week, and when my other lazy coworker tried to pawn off the work to me - I told her she would have to take care of her own stuff this week - I don't have time.
To top it all off, I miscalculated my checking account - as I am likely to do when under too much stress and now we are broke. There I said it. It scares the crap out of me to be at a point where I have $25 to cover my expenses for the next two weeks.
Unfortunately, I have had a lot of practice robbing peter to pay paul as we say - so there will be an E-Bay account selling random items pretty soon - I don't have the energy for a garage sale.
And that other house - the other mortgage - still on the market without even a bid or an open house. Great.
My car still needs to be brought into the shop - and I am playing phone tag with the insurance company.
I am bone tired - and I feel like I am at the end of my rope.
There are days where what I think I can handle and what God thinks I can handle disagree significantly.
So fine, rain down - and when the rain stops and all that shit on the ground starts sprouting sunflowers, I will be the one smiling.
7 comments:
One way or another, honey. . . we'll find a way to get through it.
I'm still waiting for that good luck to come along, though.
That's far too much for one pair of shoulders. I wish I could be more than moral support, but there you go, it's the best I can manage from this distance. All my best.
Hi Loner,
um, wow that is a lot to carry. I did not see a link to your ebay place, maybe you could post it for me?
When it all blows over you should reward yourself ... maybe a small roadtrip or even a little retail therapy :)
Keep your head up, it will get better!
{{{{stace}}}}
big hugs to you! i can't do much more, but i can do that.
[And go ahead and be happy that you are doing the right thing ("That being said, I will do the right thing, but I ain't happy about it."). It beats doing it without being happy about it, which just adds unnecessary burden to your overload.]
Hang in there Stace.
In some movie (was it "Boys on The Side"?) someone says your family is made up of the people who are still around when the sh*t hits the fan. They're often not who you expect them to be, but they're your family.
We both seem to be finding out who are families are, these days.
Love,
Lily
You need a Girls Night Out. I'll be the designated driver, since I don't drink anyway. (grin)
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