We are taking a trip to Sweden in a couple of weeks and this has necessitated the use of an original birth certificate, stamped by the state of Michigan, to send to the passport office.
I had a notarized copy of my certificate, but the passport office nixed it and asked for an original. Viewing this as an opportunity to get another original copy, I went online to the State Of Michigan and filled out the form to order a certificate. The website cannot verify my identity. Then I went to the county clerk website - they also cannot verify my identity and give me a birth certificate. According to the state - I don't exist - or at least I canno be verified.
Wild thoughts about my conservative parents getting me at JC Penneys - or being involved in some secret plot to get a child went whirling through my mind. Then reality set in and I decided that being adopted in the 60's entitles you to the run-around and a secret location for your birth records.
I made some phone calls. Apparently, records from the original birth parents are burned at that time - or at least that is what my folks were told. Because of the shroud of secrecy that surrounds adoptions of yesteryear, I have to jump through several hoops to get a copy of my birth certificate. Weird. I am not trying to find my birth parents, I'm not starting a revolution, I just want a verified copy of a certificate to prove I am a citizen. And it begs the question - I was born in a little hospital in Southfield Michigan - to a 19 year old mother - on an odd birthday - how tough would it really be to find out who my birth mother is if I wanted to know?
Made me wonder -why do we feel the need to keep these secrets as a society? Why do we bestow shame and secrecy on a woman who had enough guts to carry through an unplanned pregnancy and bravely give her child a shot a better life? It is one of the things that has always bothered me. Frankly, I don't need another set of parents, mine are fine. But I would like her to know I am fine, I am happy, my kids are great and I think my daughter probably looks like her.
5 comments:
Don't feel bad. I'll keep you.
jeez, here i been doing patty posts and reading about you, and it took me this long to figger out that you gotcher very own!
hi loner! yes, it's THAT magz.. waddling over to have a little coffee-quack with ya.
i REALLY liked the post below showing that mom-love for your daughter, i understood every feeling and am just damn glad my 1 n only was born with more testosterone then me, it woulda scared me to death to try to raise a daughter even with my mom's fine example.
my condolences to you too on the loss of one of the quacksters, i know it's life (and death) but every single one effects us somewhere...
i just feel REALLY sorry for the folk who lose a beloved pet and then refuse to ever love another animal, yeah it hurts to lose em, but it feels so GOOD to love another one!
i'll be round more, i'm off now to link ya. i'll just drop ya in somewhere, but let me know if you care about any particular order in regards to whatz-iz-name's blog, which is listed on mine as elvis etc, he he he
Those old rules were pretty cruel.
"shame and secrecy".
Yes, it was that way. But I think - here in Canada anyway - things are changing for the better.
Sweden, eh? My niece has been in Sweden nearly a year, on a student exchange. She's having a fabulous time!
Because she has just as much right to keep it silent as you have to keep it open.
What is legal is not always right.
Post a Comment