Monday, March 20, 2006

Restless

I don't know if it is the season - or the job - or the trip to Indiana - or just my need for change, but I'm restless again.

I am struggling - with worry, with decisions about whether or not we are doing the right thing - whether or not this is the right place - whether I want to stay where I am - or if moving back to Indiana would be a blessing.

They are building the hospital that was cancelled months before I left - and there will be more opportunities there. I could find 5 or 10 acres and maybe even an old farm house in the school district where the kids were before.

We drove by the Ogre's place, and it seems that he has moved - hard to tell if that is permanent, but if he were gone, moving back home would be even more tempting.

Or I could bloom where I am planted and keep the kids stable where they are - which is probably what I will end up doing.

But after going home this time, I realize that I miss it and now I am restless. Man, I hate that.

3 comments:

SJ said...

I know that feeling. I get it for countries though, not states :) I've been ready for another move for around a year now. Hope your decision comes quickly, it can torment otherwise!

Lora said...

Hey Girl, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I love Dallas, I mean I REALLY, REALLY LOVE it! I don't want to live in Indiana. I hate the weather, I hate the hickish people, I HATE the way these idiots drive here......BUT I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my grandbaby! So I would be giving up every aspect of my life that I love to be here where the only joy would be in seeing my grandbaby grow up on a weekly basis rather than a quarterly basis. I know it seems like a no brainer, but it's hard.

Matt was "playing" and bit me on the arm in front of his asshole father, his in-laws, his brother, etc and I now have a bruise on my arm in the shape of his mouth....and he wants me to move here???? For what? More disrespect. I am so mad at him I can hardly talk to him. I don't think it's funny or appropriate for a 25 year old to bite their mother even if they are "playing". He bit me hard and it hurt.....little bastard!

I want to go home...but where is it? Cold Indiana or warm Texas?

Love ya,

Lora

Anonymous said...

To Loner & Lora,
Are you serious about moving back to Indiana? Have you forgotten what it is like here? It sounds like Lora has her finger on the pulse. If you are even slightly happy where you are at, do not move back to Indiana. The pay is low for Indiana based companies and the real estate is high. There is a prevalent crappy attitude here and a weird mix of rednecks and snobs. People are not educated and extremely proud of it here. If you love your family, just visit more often. If you move back, I can guarantee you'll regret it. Don't get me started on the 7 months of winter. I'm just looking forward to Friday when I fly out of here for a week.