Intra operative Note

The rooster crows as I leave my office
and the worried voice of my mother
on the other end of the phone says
that the lymph node was elusive in surgery

so the doctor who doesn't operate on necks
will have to push his limit, and find a node there
I can taste the fear it in my mouth
and there is nothing to do but pray

Tears well up in my eyes as I drive
where else would I go when I hurt
so my car veers into His driveway, His house,
where a Christmas Star already hangs in anticipation

The church is quiet, and a policeman drives past
Smiling and catching my eye as he waves
There are no lights, but the scent of pine
Greets me like an old friend as I walk in

To the front seat, wood smooth and warm
The Nativity is there, with the empty manger
But He is right there - looking down from the cross above
And He is my Lord so I ask

I ask for a miracle, I ask for angels
I ask for a blessing and a gift that I do not deserve
And the sacristy light flickers with a breeze I don't feel
The church is silent

I wait, and I pray and I let the tears come
Even on my best day, I still fall short
make mistakes, act like an ass, it happens
And I am sorry, but I am a child in deep need

A chill comes over me, my tears have stopped
I look over at the Nativity, they knew fear
They certainly knew sorrow and loss
The sacristy light burns straight and strong, only for a moment

And I know that He has heard my prayers
And will answer them as the Good Father that He is.