Green Chile Therapy

Sitting last night on the heated porch of a restaurant in Bernalillo
The mesquite fire heating the air with a scent so delicious
The room felt like heaven with a bonfire and twinkling lights

Tequilla enriched margrita bothe salty and sweet
And the moon peaking through the cottonwood trees
My friends beside me, basking in their love dreamy-eyed

Fresh guacamole arrives with chunks of avacado, the color of spring
Red Chile encrusted ribs and savory green chile queso
Follow suit on a plate decorated with red and blue chips

The smell is intoxicating, taking me back to the Reservation
To a time when I was myself nearly all the time
No pretense, no worrying about what people think, peaceful

I think it is the mesquite smoke - which wafted from the nearby trailers
when the weather was cold and snow hung threatening in the air
That reminds me of mornings drinking coffee with my friends

Marveling at the intricacies of our lives

I feel better - finally - and realize that I have fallen
Back into my own trap, of holding in what I feel
Of suffering silently - of not asking enough of my family

I slept 10 hours Friday night - and aybe I'll get another 10 tonight
But more importantly, I have peace in my soul and
A plan to get my life back on track, following my instincts