Saturday, April 30, 2005

To the First Man I ever Adored

Today I married a man that I love and more importantly, a man who loves me back. Before him, you were the only one who ever saw me as I really am- quirky, distracted, up to my armpits in soil and unable to see that the dishes aren't done.

For a long time I have struggled with being able to see men as they really are - because I always saw you in them - even if it was only a trace of something that was like you. I gave them credit without having them earn it. You have left big shoes to fill, good men are few and far between in these days of self-absorption. I only wish that I could have seen more clearly that just because someone has a sense of humor like you do, didn't mean he would be a husband like you are.

You and mom have been a great example to me - self-sacrifice, putting the marriage first in your decisions, loving each other including your faults and asking for God's help in dealing with each crisis as it comes. You have carried the weight of fighting the cancer gracefully, and Mom has been right there finding strength I don't think she even realized that she had. Even through this you are a good example to us.

Then Justin came along, and things are different. I can see some similarities, but more importantly he has demonstrated that he means it when he says he loves us - all of us - warts and all. Just like you.

I gave his a gift this morning, a Lourdes water rosary, just like the one that you have as a little token that he really belongs to us. I cannot remember ever being happier - or ever getting married without some reservations. This seemed as natural as breathing - and that has never honestly been the case before. I don't know that we will be around long enough to celbrate our 45th wedding anniversary - Good Lord willing, maybe - but today I wanted to let you know I miss you adn Mom, wish you could have been here and let you know that we'll have a party to celebrate with you when we have our anniversary next year.

Love you, Daddy

3 comments:

Anvilcloud said...

Aw, that's so very sweet. He will be deeply touched. If you don't say things like this when you can, you may never be able to.

Badpatty said...

I wish they could have been there, too. I'm glad that Tom and Pam could attend, but I really would have liked it if your folks could have attended. I'm glad that you let your Daddy know how much he means to you. Being on the receiving end of some of that myself, I can tell you that just getting through some days is made possible by you and your love.

Dale said...

And maybe I'll hear that from my daughter again one day soon. Congrats on your wedding. Now comes the hard part. The marriage.