Message of Hope

Last evening I was in line at WalMart with $200 in groceries - the mixture of normal family groceries and the remaining salad, plates and lemonade for the party. The cart was OVERFLOWING and it was apparent that I was preparing for a crowd. Standing in line behind me was a woman, about my same age who commented about the cart. I told her I was getting married on Saturday and that this was the remainder of the preparation.

She asked where and I told her at our home, that I thought it was appropriate since this wasn't my first trip to the rodeo. I apologized for gushing about the upcoming wedding - but told her that I had never had a man treat me like this - that I had waited almost 39 years for him to come along and that I was just so thankful - that if I could find someone at this phase of my life that it should be hope for all those women in my same boat - overweight and kids in tow. We both laughed about that.

We spent about 10 minutes, totally unaware of anyone else who might have been listening. She, too, was married to an alcoholic - married to a man who called her lovely pet names that don't bear repeating but should have gotten his mouth washed out with soap. We talked about how those scars can run deep and show up at the worst moments - talked about how being heavy was a protection- that many of the creeps who lied and treated us like a piece of ass weren't interested when the ass was larger.

She asked about the wait - without thinking I didn't even count the time with the Ogre - I guess I have continued in my subconscious to count that as time on my own - because I certainly was. My son is 10 and his dad left while I was pregnant - that is a long time. She has been alone for 11 years. We laughed about how being alone was preferable to being married to the wrong man.

She asked about my dress - short or long, white or ivory. I laughed and said that I went with long because I could - but did ivory. No way was I brazen enough to pass off a white dress with my kids in tow!!

By this time the cashier had worked up a sweat, but all of my things were totaled and it was time to leave. I wanted to say something clever or profound, but I am not built like that so I told her what I have said to myself many times - there is hope, there is a future, whether that includes a man or not. Keep the faith that things will work out for good just like God promised.