Catching Up

Realized that I haven't posted since things went awry last week. Feeling better now that the weekend has past and the house is as clean as it is going to get. I think with the issues I am having myself - getting too old to be a new mother again, while always wanting to be a new mother again - that the sorrow over the loss for Karla and Mark's baby Ava troubled me more than I thought. Over the weekend I concluded that all I could really do was offer a prayer for them everytime I thought about them and trust God to do what He has always done - hold me when I cannot stand up anymore.

Wedding preparations are done - well done until I get more cashflow to buy the last remaining things. The food is mostly ready, the yard is mostly done, I have no plan for where of how to set up the chairs, but I am sure something will come to me before Saturday morning. The groom is ready, the preacher is ready and I am ready - everything else is just gravy.

Justin and I went to get our marriage license this morning and it is sinking in that I am going to get to spend the rest of our lives together. I know it is a cliche', but I just couldn't be happier.

I remember last year when Steph got married I asked her if she had pre-wedding jitters or cold feet. She didn't and I genuinely couldn't understand her lack of fear about committing to Mark. Now, I understand. I am not afraid, only anxiously awaiting the time that the party will be over and our new lives together can really begin. I hate to keep saying that I never had this happen before - but I never have- there have always been concerns and reservations, even though I firmly believed - and still do - that those marriages were a part of God's plan for me. It has been a bumpy road which has thankfully produced three wonderful children and acquired four ducks, four dogs, two frogs, a rapidly increasing tank of fish and a couple of parakeets.

Saturday a new chapter begins - Stace the contented wife - mother of three beautiful, charming, strong-willed, and noisy children, keeper of the yard and the zillions of creatures therein.