Friday, April 01, 2005

Money can't buy you love

I received an e-mail yesterday from the Ogre. In spite of the no-contact order, I feel compelled to answer his stupid attempts and contacting me because my folks have enough drama right now with chemo treatment - they don't need to have him bothering them as well.

I had to share the e-mail contents because it brought to light an important lesson. The Ogre lured me in with a promise of a more affluent lifestyle -the promise to take care of me - the promise that our shared incomes would move me from struggling to comfortable - and as a single mother with three kids, I took the bait. Of course there were other factors, and other lies, but the comfort was certainly a part of my decision. Unfortunataly, money was his entire life and focus - taking center stage in all decisions. As a result of that he is less than a man - less than a whole person - and a slave to his finances.

The e-mail asked if I would be willing to let him claim my three kids as his dependents (none of the kids are biologically or legally his) because when he went to the tax preparer he discovered that he will have to pay thousands in taxes. Apparently in his haste to make himself wife-free, he neglected to change over his W-4 witholding form at his jobs. So they continued to take out taxes for a man with four dependents - and now at filing time, he has no dependents. Because the kids didn't live with him for more than 8 months - he can't claim them - because he was divorced by the December 31st deadline, he also can't claim me. oops.

The possibility exists that he might still try to claim the kids - after all, this is the same man who has evaded taxes for the last 10 years.

Over and over again my friends and kids have clamored for revenge - such is our nature. I have firmly believed that God would take care of avenging us. I see this particular incident as just another reminder from God - another step in the process of avenging us - and costing the Ogre in the place it hurts the most - his wallet. Discarding your wife for a girlfriend is a BAD choice.

Oh yea - and his final note, if things don't work out with my "current situation" he'd like me to consider taking him back. Yea, I'll be sure to keep that in mind and if hell freezes over and he is the last man on earth, there is still no way.

1 comment:

Dora said...

Loner,
I know this isn't funny, but I had to laugh because I went through the same thing with my x husband.

He filed both kids on his taxes after the divorce settlement said that he could not do it. He was fined several thousand dollars as well as filing a false tax document.

Whenever he comes to me asking for stuff - which is frequent because he (a) has not morals or concept of when enough is enough, or (b) he always thinks that the world and the people in it exist only to please and accomodate him -

I just poitely remind him of this:
since you paid me nothing,
since you cleaned out my bank accounts on several occasions, since you are several thousand dollars behind in what you owe according to a court order,
since you made no investment in me or our marraige - there is nothing for me to return or give to you. You are on your own, the answer is no.
Sadly, his two daughters feel the same way about him as their father.

Doesn't it amaze you that they think the things that they do sometimes and that they have the gaul to ask in the first place?