The answer to WHY

Over the past 9 months, my husband has been without a job - not without income, as he got unemployment, worked for his dad, and cashed out his retirement to take care of his financial responsibilities. He is back to working, but during that time, there were some folks who are supposed to be family friends who kept asking me how long I was going to let him mooch off of me.

I am not sure what planet these folks were on when I moved myself, my three kids and two dogs in with Justin on about 48 hours notice in September of '04. We were homeless and he paid the hotel bill for the first week - then let us move in with him. Just handed me the keys. He watched over the kids, checking on them at night when they would wake up from nightmares. He watched over them when I went back to Indiana to pack more things. He bought everything we needed over and above the money I had left - and handed me his credit card - a leap of faith of gargantuan proportions.

The truth of the matter is that shit happens. Not very poetic, but honest. People fall, they struggle, they make mistakes, they sleep with people they shouldn't, they tell little white lies, they get sick, they get downsized, they get depressed. It is these faults that make us human. What kind of a committment would my marriage vows be if I was ready to get rid of my husband - who has gone above and beyond to try to heal up wounds he didn't cause - over something like money.

It is only money, we'll make more. Think about that - it's true. And when I draw my last breath, it will be someone else's money. Why freak out about it? I've had children since I was twenty - can't remember a time before now that I was married to someone who contributed as much financially to the kids - and the household as he has been willing to do.

I am thankful that we had enough money to pay our bills - thankful that we stayed married - that we are able to love each other in spite of our faults. And I have a laundry list of them - not the least of which is a mouth that doesn't always know when to stop. He loves me, loves my kids - doesn't just tolerate them - he loves them - he worries about them - he wants to protect them. Men like that are rare indeed - I know from experience. I hope that my children have gotten to see how to handle crisis well - how to be supportive - and how to really love someone. Things they haven't seen as often as I would like growing up.

So the answer is twofold.
1. When you promise forever, a person should mean it and do everything in their power to be true to their word. Getting rid of a husband is WAY different than breaking up with a boyfriend, at least in my experience.
2. There was a day when I was stuck - as were the kids - and had no job - and no where to go - and he took us in. Some of that was my own damn fault. What kind of person would then turn around and be miffed about affording him the same courtesy?