I have a great daughter. I am astounded by her strength - and that she developed into such a wonderful kid despite my lack of parenting skills. I had her just a month after I had turned 21, during my junior year of college, and after getting married to her father, who wasn't sure he ever wanted to get married again - let alone have any other kids. I didn't force him, I offered to go live with my folks and raise her alone, he insisted we get married and try to make it work. That being said, he has behaved, ever since, as though the whole thing was my fault, and as though he should be excused from parenting duties since he didn't plan the pregnancy.
Her father decided that when we divorced, he didn't want to do weekends, saying it wasn't fair to her. He was obligated to pay $32 a week in support - even in 1988, this was a very reasonable amount. He then proceeded to drop out of her life entirely, except for a visit of a couple hours when I asked him to come see her, nearly 10 years ago. I have kept in loose contact with his family - they have had my number - and were told they could pass it on. He never asked.
Frankly, this pisses me off. I have always thought it was because he wasn't paying support, and he thought that if he came up for air, he would get caught and they would make him pay back support.
Thursday evening, I got a call from his mother - who lives near him and has been trying to help him get his stuff together. I like her, we have always gotten along, but her job is to protect her son as much as it is to be a part of Bear's life.
Well, it seems he is planning to refinance his home, and could, in the process, roll in the outstanding debt of over $30,000 to pay this off. She wanted to know, if I got a lump payment, would I be willing to take less money.
I told her that Bear deserved either the money or a father. If he was willing to step up and become a part of her life - I would take half. To accomplish this, I expected a phone call, a card, some acknowledgement of his daughter. Her birthday is Thursday, and if we haven't heard something - I will assume his choice is made.
She argued that it was a lump sum, and I might never see any money otherwise. See, I am already out the money -she is 19 now, I don't need it to buy diapers anymore. Well, that isn't exactly correct, seeing as the prosecutor in Orlando knows who he is now, he would have to give up his business to go back ot hiding his assets again. At the moment, he is vulnerable, and he should know that.
Right now, I get $32 a week - which the prosecutors withhold from his paycheck. I haven't formally asked for the amount to be raised in 18 YEARS. I don't get any back support, at all. My daughter is starting college, and that will increase her expenses - so I have every right, as the prosecutors office reminds me every year - to increase my support amount and ask for them to make him pay arrears.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - and when you scorn her children as well, it just isn't a good thing.
1 comment:
You need to persue that money. Not because you are scorned but because you legally and morally deserve it. Bear deserves it more than you. does it replace what you/she never had in a father? Nope but it helps to meet the bills and holds them accountable for what they could not do on their own. Is it sad that we have to be the ones to make sure it gets done. yes. Doesn't change the fact that it still needs to be done.
Good Luck.
Post a Comment