The sun is bright and it is nice and warm today. There is a little breeze that makes the temperature bearable. I went to Mass this morning again, trying to clear my head. I still feel so tired out by all of this. The reading talked again about how God is our protector through the ages.
A zillion things bouncing around in my head. Things I left behind, people I left behind, my ducks, my dogs, where the kids will go to school, how Jake will visit his dad from here - how we will visit our friends from here - what will happen - will we find a job, will we find a house - what will become of us - yea, that is a lot of bouncing.
Had two weird confirmations, though, in the last 48 hours. When I went to get groceries yesterday, the lady at the checkout asked if I was on my way to work, I replied that I was actually job hunting. She said " Well, baby, sometimes the Lord takes away something that we love so that He can give us something more wonderful" Just said it out of the blue - I nearly started crying right there at the register.
Then my Dad called. Seems my mom went to dinner with a woman named Millie Bianco. Her granddaughter was killed by her ex-husband after multiple attempts at arresting him for invasion of privacy - on a morning that he was released from jail and she wasn't notified so she could get out - this happened in South Bend in the late 80s. I haven't taken the time to look up the story, but suffice it to say, I think it was a sign - don't believe in coincidence. Millie told my mom that the description of Dan sounded a lot like Allen Matheny, the man who killed her granddaughter.
I miss my friends, I miss my dogs - my ducks, - football practice - my family - my life and my job. It just doesn't seem fair. I feel like my life has been ripped away and I am just supposed to take it. There are perks to being here - not the least of which is getting some sleep - but it still hurts. I don't want to be a burden - but it seems I don't have much of a choice in the matter. Another week to rest - another week to sort things out - and dream of a new life.
1 comment:
HI! I hope this gets to you since this is an older blog. I know Millie Bianco and I remember watching t.v. about the news of her daughter Lisa. Millie helped save my life when I called her begging for advice about my own case while I was in protective custody with my own abuse, stalking case. If you want more info on her daughters case...let me know okay.
-Jane
United Visions Of A Peaceful Journey
Post a Comment