AT LAST

The greatest difficulty in dating someone 600 miles away is wishing you could spend more time together. Although he is exceptionally conscious about calling me when he thinks I am having a tough day, most of the time that contact just makes me acutely aware that I cannot reach out and touch him. I miss you seems to be the mantra - but not today.

Most every day, I have to tell him I miss him - but not today, and not tomorrow or the next day. He is back with me at last. When we get to see each other it is as though the rest of our lives were some kind of weird dream - and the real life only occurs during the time we are together. We sat chatting at Joshua's football game with my folks last night - as naturally as if we had been doing that for a dozen years. He has become a natural extension of my family - whether I wanted that or not.

When our friend Steph called to see if he had made it in one piece at last - he started singing the song - At Last - same one I have been humming for weeks - much to the dismay of the kids. He didn't know that before - but the rolling eyes from his audience probably gave it away.

Josh had trouble sleeping and while I was brushing my teeth, he crawled onto the bed and chatted with him until I came back in. There was no conversation about why he was in my room - no awkwardness when he and the kids are together. And the most amazing thing - I came home like a whirling dervish - usually a term I use, but he used it yesterday - and still he was happy to be there and help me wind down at the end of a very long day. If you have never worked yourself to the bone day after day, it is probably difficult to identify with how incredible it feels to have someone tell you to sit and stop working - that you deserved to rest. I need to hear that because I forget sometimes.

When I went to sleep last night, I waited, with much difficulty, until I knew that he was asleep before I allowed myself to doze off. An aside here - I can sleep through about anything and about anywhere - so keeping myself awake was quite the task. I didn't want to lose one minute of our time together - there is never enough time - and I always leave wanting more time to just listen to him breathe.

Today I woke up with the most wonderful sensation of not being alone. This is not the first morning I have awakened with a man in my room, but it always surprises me that the emotional impact of having him there is so much different than anything I have ever experienced. Watching him curled up in my comforter brings feelings I don't have words to name - a comfort, a longing, a desire to keep all of me in one place. It is one of those emotions that only tears of joy can express. I feel overwhelmed by the blessing of this man and what he does for my family.

We are going to see a movie tonight - and we are also calling Magnolia, the woman at the wedding who told him " Listen to me, I am serious. You two, I see something there. You have to see this girl again. " Okay, I am now willing to admit she was right!!