Did you ever fall in love with the person whom you thought was your "match" - the soulmate - the one according to every sappy movie you have ever seen?
One of my girlfirends did - and being in love with him transformed her. She finished her degree, dared to start a new life away from a not very nice ex husband - and eventally got gastric bypass surgery to reclaim her body as well. It has been a joy, for the most part - watching her with grandkids and mulling over the life of a married woman.
They have been struggling - as couples do. You know that as soon as that honeymoon phase disappears, and you see clearly the person you have committed your life to, things shift a bit. But despite the reality of the person before you, a promise is a promise.
I wish there was a way to help her through this - I wish he had been faithful, I wish those feelings that something was wrong were unfounded. But My girl has a get out of jail free card - and a chance to start over. It is bittersweet - he was her "one" and he threw it away. He let fear take over - fear of losing her - so he pushed her to a place where she cannot stay. A woman can tolerate a lot of things, but infidelity crosses the line for most of us.
There is nothing more tragic than to see two people who have found real true love - and then somehow lose it. Think about how hard it is to find love in the first place. Yep - losing it is way past tragic.
I stood up at their wedding, but I will be the first one to encourage her to let him go. No woman deserves that.
2 comments:
Hi, cruising and found your blog and read this with interest. May I offer another viewpoint?
Uh...divorce the man of your dreams because he porked somebody else--are you kidding? Honey, they all sleep around. Trust me. I know!
It's nothing at all. Just body dancing.
Ok, fine. You divorce the horndog. Then what? How old are you? How likely is it you will find another love? Do you even want to go through all the hassle of trying to find another love? Well, do you want to live the rest of your life alone?
Honey, take him back--but don't miss any opportunity from now on to go on the prowl yourself, if you get my meaning.
My best to your friend. I hope to remain a faithful husband, but I kind of see Wanda's point.
I'm pretty sure that I could deal with it if my wife cheated on me. It would certainly be bad news and we would have to deal with it like any married couple, but I doubt I'd walk away from life with her because of it.
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