"I think the intent is great, but what I wonder is, does it help? I've known several situation where a woman has warned another woman about her abusive experience with a man, and the one currently in relationship with him always blows it off. Until it happens to her, of course." This is one of my comments from below - and I wanted to answer it properly.
I did an internet search on Dan before I married him - I did one on Justin as well. We live in a scary world and before you commit your love and live and finances to someone, you should know what you are getting in to. Nothing turned up on Dan because NO ONE else had filed charges - they were all too scared of him - or decided it was too much trouble - so he got away with bullying three families before mine. ( Nothing on Justin either, except a picture in the paper from the 80s)
When I talked to Kim she thanked me for calling her to warn her about Dan. She didn't believe me at the time, and freely admitted that. In this day of ugly divorces, things are hurled without thought - and that is sad because it diminshes the reality of domestic abuse. She did say, though, that if I hadn't told her what had happened - and how he hit my son - and how he had threatened me - that she never would have thought he was dangerous. She said the conversation planted the seed.
That is my intention. TO give women who want to know the truth and opportunity to find it. THey will form their own opinions, but a place to record facts would be helpful.
Thas being said, my girl Steph came up with this site : don't date him girl. I have registered Dan the Ogre and I will put his picture up over the weekend. Men are permittted to issue a rebuttal if they feel they were misrepresented. And that is a good start.
2 comments:
It's a great idea, Stace, but I wonder how many women bother to check on the men they date. And I'm so sad that it's even necessary.
It's good to hear that somebody was asking questions in advance. I got character references on my husband from all sorts of people who had known him for a long time, but I wasn't on the net at the time, or even in the mindset of the net. Of course, it was in 1995, so how "be-netted" were we all at that point?
I hope it keeps someone else from falling down that particular well.
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