Cyberdating ...or How eHarmony has complicated my life

First let me say that I LOVE the eHarmony commercials where the two lovely people find each other and hit it off. I was especially pleased when they added the older couple - the guy with gray hair was more my speed, frankly. I signed up for eHarmony about two years ago and have kept my profile open for matches, then closed for matches in rotating order. I think it is easier if you date one person at a time so that you can just sort through things. Currently, my matching is off, and it is all because of one of my matches who just tangles me up - I have a strong reaction to him, definite chemistry, I just can't tell if it is a positive or negative reaction.

Currently, I have a couple of situations that are a direct result of my eHarmony experience, but first, let me tell you about my best dates ever. I will say that to the best of my ability I have represented myself honestly- I don't like whiners, I do like football, I have a lot of fun and I am not a bitty girl. I am open to friends, but my experience has been that typically when men and women are friends in close proximity, one or the other of them is interested in something more. I didn't join eHarmony to find more friends- I did it to find someone I am compatible with.

I am sitting now at McDonalds using their WiFi to do some work and now update my little corner of the planet. Next to me is a couple in their late 50s who met on eHarmony- they are speaking about it in hushed tones. Seriously, in this age of electronic friendships, I have given up on bars and moved on to greener pastures and better accessibility. Funny that we still feel squeamish about it.

So here are some of my BEST date experiences:

1. The man who invited me to meet him at the mall as a neutral location. Then proceeded to take me to dinner at the Chinese place in the food court. I was still open to this, until he broke into a 10 minute dissertation on the wonders of Nordstroms and declared that fashion was his life. Then he tried to get me to give him an insulin pump so that he could take it to China and mass reproduce it- ummmmm no.

2. The biker who was quite charming but so very nervous and distracted that I can't even tell you what color his eyes were because we never made eye contact, ever.

3. The IT guy who was also an ex co-worker of my exhusbands. He met the height requirements, his emails looked normal, then we agreed on a restaurant. He had mentioned that he was financially strapped, so I met him for lunch at a local spot that I just love. He used to be a chef. First, he returned his coffee because it was bitter, then his iced tea because it was awful, then complained about the prices on the lunch menu ( under $10). We spent the entire time waiting for our meal with him complaining about the temperature and how I was unfair for saying I didn't want another man who couldn't help with chores around the house. When he refused to eat his lunch, I just couldn't take anymore and offered to pay my own tab.

4. The football coach who had some real potential, but just no spark. He calls me every couple of weeks when he is bored- um, not what I had in mind at all. The deal-breaker for me was when he argued with me over dinner about whether Type 1 Diabetes could be healed by diet - and unfortunately this is my field of expertise. I might have been wrong, but seriously, it was the choice of what to argue about that showed his lack of respect. He is going out this weekend as friends with one of my best girlfriends- maybe he'll have a spark with her.

5. The Trucking Buisiness owner who was charming on the phone, but was not able to pin down a date to get together. I kept talking to him for about two months until he said that his one non-negotiable was a woman who was willing to go get her nails manicured and her hair done every week. Non-negotiable....meant I just couldn't sign up for that one.

6. The renovator who will send me 10 emails one day and then nothing for the next several days. Lots of conversation but after 6 weeks of talking by email, he still hasn't offered to get together. Eh, he's not that in to me anyway, but he has a great sense of humor.

7. Last but not least, the orator. Come here- stay - come here - stay. My current opinion is that either he is already in love with another of his female friends or that I make him nervous and he doesn't know what to do with me. He makes me crazy and has yet to do what I expected - and maybe that is good for me. This is one match, though, that even if nothing else transpires, I have grown personally from the time I have spent with him- I am becoming a better person as a result of our interactions.....yep, he is good for me.

I never in a million years thought I would do online dating - but interstingly, it does give me an avenue to move things at my preferred speed and to get to know people who at least have some similarities. The technology can work- it just hasn't yet, but today could be the day.