Sometimes it looks like in spite of my prayers, the Enemy is winning. He already tried to steal my dreams by destroying a marriage and trying to cause my family to live in fear of a man who is merely the shell of a human. When I watched Fallen last week, I could so clearly see the similarities in what has happened to Dan the Ogre. Creepy.
Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time talking to God and thanking him for a new start, from bringing Justin into our lives, for the personal growth that has occurred as a result of the disaster that was my life with the Ogre. I have felt pissed, confused, abandoned and now, exceptionally blessed.
Last night I returned from the lake only to find that two of my lawn chairs had been stolen from my front lawn - in plain site - and that several of my things had been taken out of the attic of the house next door - and were left on the porch without cover. Nothing like coming home late only to find you will have to carry furniture inside after you tuck your kids into bed. Again, we clamor for revenge, and again I reassure myself and the angry kids that God will take care of this for us and that in the end, the Ogre will pay.
Jerra was home sick today, and something told me that while I was out of the office, she should have a way to get me by phone. I called and let her know where I was. At 2:10 she called me crying to tell me that Dan had tried to get in the front door and when he found that locked, he went around to the back door and tried to get in. I bought special locks - the kind they have at hotels which latch on the inside. When I bought and installed them, Jerra said it "creeped her out" and she didn't like them. Today, they worked well. She said Dan ran from the yard as she came to the back door to see who was there, leaving the woman staring after him as he got in his car and drove off.
He had come with an appraiser, a woman who was told that Dan lived there. Of course, he does not. Jerra was friendly, asked for a moment and called the police to report the attempted break in. They sent an officer who interviewed the appraiser and then Jerra let the woman in to do her job - not sure how long she stayed or even if she was done, but God bless her, Jerra was polite.
I listen to radio preachers on the Moody Bible station - helps keep me focused on what is really important. The message at 11:30 today was this: I will not fear what men may do to me. My Lord can raise the dead, He heals the lame, He comforts the sorrowing, He promises that the lowly of this world will inherit His Kingdom. He is Truth and Life. He already saved me from strangulation, drove me home when I had no business behind the wheel, got me through colic and then brain surgery with Jacob, brought me and three kids a thousand miles away from anyone we knew, and He has blessed me in ways I cannot even put into words with the people who love me and surround me. I will not live in fear of the Ogre - demon that he is. The Enemy will not beat us - or make me afraid - or make me doubt. I only have eleven days left until this whole thing is decided and I can embark on my new life. I expect that it will be the toughest part.
It reminds me of the opening scene from The Passion, Satan lurks while Jesus considers his prospects and gathers strength. Then there is the look of Absolute Resolve, as He stands and decides to do what is right and what is asked of Him. In that moment, the power and determination shows through - would have scared me if I had been on the other end of that look. It is that same Deliverer who guards my house and protects my children and me. I will not fear what men may do to me.
3 comments:
Rich pointed out a worthwhile point to me this afternoon. It's times like this that it's probably GOOD that you're nine hours away. In reading this, had I been there, I would now be in jail and the Ogre in traction.
I am so looking forward to this being over, as are you. I try to keep in mind that living well is the best revenge.
Update: last night the Ogre needed more destruction so he threw away five bags of things addn a Gateway monitor from the house - much of which was from the attic and the kids' room and contained Christmas stuff and little mementos that we have been unable to retrieve - we have mutual restraining orders and my lawyer has asked that I respect that. I have. To add insult to injury, he also put two of my wooden shelving units on the burn pile - and burned them. Could have returned them, but chose intentionally to burn them. I know you are right, that living well is the best revenge, but a part of me would really like to see him sit in jail for defying the restraining order.
Stacey, Sorry that this is happening to you. Your best course of action is just to photograph and otherwise record the restraining order violations. This way if anything more dire ever becomes of it, the judge and/or jury will see the pattern.
Mel and my prayers are with you.
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