I have been blessed with some terrific girlfriends. I can count six who I know would come bail me out of jail if I needed them to - two of whom recently did! Though this is a blessing in most aspects, the close nature and long term of these relationships leaves me open to criticism that can really sting.
Last week when I was talking to one of my friends, she said that the new relationship I am in is foolish and that I am not good at relationships. Actually, she said that I suck at love and dating. Not sure if the end of that argument was that I should just be alone forever, or that I should just give up hope. This is the same friend who chided me two and a half years ago about being alone for 8 years and not taking a risk and dating again. Seems I just can’t get this right.
Anyway, this gave me food for thought as I looked for the grain of truth in what she said. She is someone I love and trust and her opinion really matters to me. So I introduced her to the amazing man I have found. I couldn’t answer the question as to why with all the women in the world he would choose me – or why he is willing to risk it with someone who has been to the rodeo before – and been unsuccessful there. I can't explain why this is different, except that I am happy, I am myself, I can't stop feeling great about my new life, I want to write again and I feel like I have found a piece of my family that was missing. I called twice now seeking her observations and her opinion – especially since she also says she knew the last marriage was doomed the day I got married (would have been useful before I walked the aisle).
I love my friends, but it irritates me to no end that I brought a man who was talking about marrying me to them, asked for their opinion and they DIDN”T TELL ME THE TRUTH!!! Why else would I bring him? If I come asking for your opinion – I want the truth not what you think I want to hear. And thank you for telling me ten times that you knew I shouldn’t have gotten married last time – if I had believed any of my friends shouldn’t have gotten married to their husbands, I sure as HELL would have said so – instead of letting them live through the nightmare that has been my life for almost two years.
I have a hundred reasons to run like mad. But I have one reason to stay. God doesn’t break His promises. He promised that He has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. He promised to be a father to the fatherless and a husband to the widow. He promised to listen to our prayers and answer them in His Time, even if the answer was no. He promised that if I have faith and hope and love that everything will work together for good – even things that are horrible. Bottom line is that He likes restoration – He likes to reward faith with blessing to make a point to all those people who are not sure God still takes an active part in people’s lives anymore.
So still I wait to hear from her, hoping for insight before hindsight.
2 comments:
Nope - this is not about you - I think we had that conversation once, but not repeatedly! Thank you for being there for me - and for worrying that it was you who did this.
And as for the new guy - this is all new territory and I am continually amazed by him and astounded that I have been so blessed by the intertwining of his life with mine.
An update to this story - I have talked at length to the friend in question - and we concluded that there was a bit of transference going on. Things in her life are not going so well actually, they are goign really badly and money is tight and her husband has been sick - so caution is exactly what I would expect to hear in her advice.
Post a Comment