Roots

Had several interesting conversations last night in my quest to talk to people I trust about what to do. When I pray for guidance, God has this uncanny way of being really obvious with me - I mentioned in passing to a friend that I was not sure what to do and that I was considering taking a job somewhere else that would pay better and give us a new start. She looked stricken - and she said - you'd better really think about that - your kids have roots here, they like it here and it would be a shame to move them again. Well, it was not really a solicited comment, but I think she summed it up for me. The consensus was that we stay where we have been planted.

It was no accident that we ended up here - I just happened to be home the week they were interviewing for the job I have. I had to come home for the funeral of a friend, and the day before I left, they called asking if they could fly me in for an interview. Then my folks found a house with less than 48 hours before we were going to head back to Indiana. No accidents there. We are friends again with a family I went to high school with - we are only an hour away from 4 of my aunts and uncles and less than that to get to my folks and one of my best friends. There have been a lot of great memories here over the last three years.

Most importantly, I have promises to keep -I promised Jerra she would finish out her schooling here, Joshua has become so well liked and well adjusted at the school, it would be a shame to move him, and Jacob has regular visitation with his dad and teachers who really like him. I also promised my dad - not an out loud promise, but the unspoken kind - that I would keep the kids accessible and let him be a good grandpa. They get to go to the lake house, they get to see my folks and most importantly, they have established ties here and it feels like home.

When I moved out to Arizona, it started as a nagging sense that something was missing. It took me six months from the inception of the idea to actually move. It was the best thing I have ever done for our family - and we have some very dear friends because of that decision. I have prayed over this all weekend because I want to be sure that if the opportunity is pushing me to move and start a new life that I don't miss it. Even the person I thought would be a proponent of that idea, didn't encourage me to do it, so here I stay. I miss him and it is difficult knowing that during the school year trips to see one another will be few and far between.

I want to build something, establishing a foundation for what can be. I will have to do some of the planning for my new garden on my own, though I would prefer to do it in tandem. So now comes the hard part - tilling up the soil to see what is underneath and what I can plant there. Then finding the perfect spot to plant my roots and move my garden in.