Why I Love Weddings

I have a big family. My mom has 5 brothers and sisters, all of whom have kids and live nearby. My dad has 8 brothers and sisters, two of whom have passed away, but the rest of whom have been pretty prolific. We had a wedding on Saturday on my dad's side of the family and it was a wondrous thing to see. Beautiful bride, handsome, nervous groom, young people in fancy dresses and tuxedo, little flower girls in organza dresses, twirling on the dance floor, and a room full of people who liked them both and were glad to see them together. She fixed his tie after dinner, he walked her through the room with his hand in the small of her back, guiding her gently.

I have a big Catholic family - with the patriarchs, long since past, a carpenter and the daughter of a doctor who converted and was disowned for loving her husband. A passion like that brought forth these nine kids. Every one of my aunts and uncles has been professionally and financially successful - all of them went to college with the exception of the oldest child who died before my father, the second oldest was born. Like any family, there are lots of stories about growing up, funny and poignant alike.

At the wedding, the stories focused on how each of these people found their true love - describing the moment of realization - over and over again I heard the description of how there was something oddly familiar and intriguing. Christina, my wondrous cousin, and I deduced that this was chemistry. Of course this was after midnight and a considerable amount of Capitan Morgan, but between us, we have known enough romance, bad and good, that we decided we could play expert. Chemistry differing from attraction in that chemistry is an electrically charged force that makes you look again and want to know more - and attraction, which may or may not be present as well, is the force of purely hormones recognizing someone who is your physical type. Chemistry doesn't happen with every person you date, but seemed to be an ongoing theme in the descriptions of how people met. Sometime I will start to record these stories. Seems like in a time where people have trouble recognizing the difference between something that will last and physical attraction, it might be helpful to look at those relationships that last forty years.

I love weddings because they are a testimony that people will commit to love and hope and a future - in spite of the ugly and discouraging divorce rate. I love them because we get to dress up - even though I hate the curling iron with a passion. I love getting to see people we have not seen in ages - and at a Catholic wedding, dancing and drinking ensue, making the whole affair like a formal frat party. I love the music they play at weddings, the old love songs, Frank Sinatra, Billie Holliday, Bing Crosby...Even corny songs sound good at a wedding. This wedding helped me remember another wedding I attended recently, and if I had not felt lonely before, thoughts of that encounter left me strangely empty and wanting a plane ticket south.

Mostly, I love weddings because two people make themselves publicly very vulnerable, and the honesty of the emotions in that moment always makes me cry. Funny, that someone who has walked the aisle more than once would like weddings at all. Cockeyed optimist...Maybe. But more importantly, weddings give me a chance to see that there are people in the world who find their other half and live happily ever after.