As of October 31st, you no longer have any valid reason to contact me. I no longer live in your house or under your sick, twisted tyranny. For the next two years, and hopefully longer, you may not contact me - it is a court order and every time you contact me, I will report it to the police. You may no longer call and leave messages that you love me. How dare you even utter the words - you don't dismiss a woman that you love by going on dates and signing up for internet dating services, you do not show love by telling her to have sex with you and then threatening divorce, you do not file for divorce and date other women saying it is a way to work on your marriage. Love never includes hitting your wife or her 11-year old son. You do not love me, nor have you ever. You may have loved the idea of posessing me, perhaps even loved having someone to take care of you, but it was never me that you loved. There were so many parts of me that you never even bothered to ask about or learn about. I take comfort in the fact that I never showed you the deeper aspects of myself, and those stayed protected from your assault. I have peace with the notion that the man you pretended to be - the man I fell in love with - was never real. Kind of like falling in love with a character in a movie and finding that it was just a shadow of the actor.
My children and I have a right to pursue freedom and happiness and we have chosen to take that path, even though it has come at great personal cost - my job that I love, my family, their schools. You have taken all of that from us with your threats of hurting us. But you cannot hurt us anymore. I am stronger now - months of being out from under your control have enabled me to see how twisted your thinking is - how we could never have been perfect enough for you. Frankly, I prefer honest and broken to your false vision of perfection.
Your deciet and your lies - but mostly your vicious tongue have left scars and nightmares in their wake. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you have done to my children. It may require more fortitude than my heart posesses. You have twisted the very words of Christ that you used to lure us in. You have used His words to damage a family who wanted nothing more than for you to be the father and husband you promised to be. You will have to answer to God for that, just as I will have to answer for my transgressions. Woe be unto him who leads one of these little ones to sin.
Mostly I want to say, be wary. I have tolerated what I must in the pursuit of peace. It is not the way of the world, but it is what my Savior requires, that even when it makes no sense to me, I am to treat you as one of His children and to honor the vow I made even when you didn't. That season is over, and a new one has begun. I will not seek revenge, I leave that to Him. I will say, though, that should you be fool enough to seek us out, and I have occasion to face you, you will not wake to see the morning. I will no longer be tormented and hunted and if it takes my last breath to defend my family, I will do it gladly.
Be gone from me, Satan.
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