Michael Finnegan

Do you remember the song about Michael Finnegan - he had whiskers on his chin again??

The chorus always said: Poor Old Michael Finnegan. Begin Again!

While I cannot take credit for this piece of literary genius, I certainly get the sentiment.  The same thing keeps happening over and over again - and you have to begin again over and over again. A bit monotonous, really.

Beginning Plan B all over again.  This includes training the seizure dog to get Jake more independence, applying for Disability and Medicare, joining the local epilepsy foundatoin, coaching for GED testing in November and most importantly, trimming the dead wood from my life so that I can get focused on Jake and getting his life launched in the right direction.

New meds were started on Thursday afternoon- and despite missing a dose this morning and an erratic sleep schedule, there have been no seizures.  Miracle of miracles.  This medication just might do the trick.  Ask me how I like it 6 weeks from now.

Again this weekend I talked to the adults in my household about getting gainefully employed.  This was followed by my promise to have EVERYONE up and moving before 9am and with the admonition that by the end of the month, I needed fiscal responsibility.

I need to get some things listed on Craigslist to get more positive cash flow - and tomorrow, before heading to the pool for sun and fellowship, I have to spray the yard for fleas again. 

Tuesday I will speak with the lady at our new church and help to coordinate an education program for people with chronic illnesses as a part of the health ministry. Looking forward to doing this in a local setting with the same people I see in the grocery store.

We have resolved the house cleaning issue satisfactorily - so the woman with the full-time job does not do all the housework as well - much better.

And finally, I concluded this week that ever since I decided in 2000 that I could raise kids and have a romantic life, things have gone awry.    I have been praying for God to bring me a man who loves Him and who has a good spirit and a good heart. Haven't gotten a man like that who loves me back - though I know it is possible - just had a couple like that who have left just like everyone else.   I am not feeling sorry for myself, only wistful for the longing of my heart: to share my overflowing heart with someone who won't cheat on me - won't lie to me about the important stuff - won't be afraid of accepting love in return.

And so, this last item on my list, is to drop out of the miasma of dating and thinking about love- and drop back into just being someone's mama.  Begin again the path of focusing on my calling. After all, that is what I am really good at anyway.