Winter is on the way. This morning, I could tell there was the trace of a colder wind in the air.
There is a rhythm to the way life goes, isn't there. Summer, fall, winter, spring- heat, cooling off, distance, renewal and then heat again - life, harvest, death, life growing beneath the surface, and life again. Cycle after cycle and year after year.
Personally, the knowledge that wherever I am is only temporary has helped me cope with an innumerable situations. Keeps things in perspective when you remind yourself that it isn't permanent- that it is only for a while. Like holding your breath underwater.
I've been having trouble getting warm. I know, I'm in Georgia and it really isn't that cold here - physically cold. There is the constant dampness in the cold weather that seems to penetrate down to my bones - making 50 degrees seem subzero. When we lived in Indiana I wouldn't even get a jacket until it was in the 30s. here I am turning on the heated seats at 60.
But I think it is an outward expression of something inward- I just can't get warm.
I had someone say to me that I had given my heart away. Much as I would like to deny this - it is true. There has been a LOT of settling since then because there wasn't much left to give to anyone else.
And as a result of being in that phase where I am growing my heart back and filling up the chambers with the love of family and friends - I am having trouble getting warm. Yeesh, maybe I am lacking in pulse as well!
Feeling cold makes me sleepy- yawning through important moments in my life.
But most of all, feeling cold makes me want to get warm.
Waterbed is turned up, heated seats are on, little bourbon in the glass, fireplace exuding heat:
They provide momentary warmth- but as I said, I think it is a deeper problem.
When I hug the kids - I feel warm. When I sit by my friends on the couch, I feel warm. And when they are gone, so is the warmth.
I feel like the little Match girl- continually lighting matches because the light and the flames distract my attention long enough to forget the cold.
Don't worry- it is only a season and spring will be here before we know it.
1 comment:
I am wondering whether, due to nature's whims, women tend to have a problem with heat -- either too much or too little. My woman feels it too much although she seems to be cooling down somewhat.
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