The Obedience Project

o·be·di·ence   /oʊˈbidiəns/

–noun
1. the state or quality of being obedient.
2. the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance: Military service demands obedience from its members.
3. a sphere of authority or jurisdiction, esp. ecclesiastical.
4. Chiefly Ecclesiastical .
   a. conformity to a monastic rule or the authority of a religious superior, esp. on the part of one who has vowed such conformance.
  b. the rule or authority that exacts such conformance.

Origin: 1150–1200; ME < OF < L oboedientia.
 
Let's be honest here, this particular noun is not a natural part of my persona.  If my friends were to describe me, the state of being obedient would not be in the list. In fact I find myself sometimes secretly pushing the limits to prove that I can do what I want as opposed to what I have been told to do - just to see how much I can get away with.  This is not always a conscious decision, in fact I think it is some subprogram that my subconscious runs in the background, but when I look back on situations, I see that it was running.  Maybe this is an attempt at proving I am special in some way.  Maybe almost everyone does this.  Hah- you know the line: you are special just like everyone else!
 
This morning at Mass, though, when this was mentioned in the readings it was like a punch to my chest.  I had the realization that a Loving Father would only give rules and ask me to obey them if those rules were in my best interest and designed to protect me. In essence, I realized that by not obeying the rules- by not being obedient - I have put myself in danger, or at least invited trouble unnecessarily.
 
Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that all rules imposed by a Church or a Government are good rules, but there is a difference between just disobeying because you can and disobeying a rule on moral principle.  I am talking about those things I disobey just because I can.
 
When I was a young girl, and the emphasis on having a man in my life hadn't been linked so closely with my worth, I wanted to be a missionary.  I read endless volumes of the Maryknoll books that were piled in my grandparent's bathroom and when they came to speak at Mass, they spoke of a world that just entranced me.   They take vows, those missionaries.  Vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience. 
 
Well, we have been blessed with exactly what we need.  No more, no less - and that is not exactly poverty, but there are times that it feels pretty darn close. I think more than focus on a bank account, though, poverty means denying opulence and overdoing it in favor of sharing what you have.  It is a focus on people instead of stuff.  Okay, I am doing that one okay already.
 
Chastity has been a product of my current situation, not a choice I have made consciously.  This may be the next thing I work on- but for now, the obedience is the target.
 
So, I am going to work on being obedient: meeting my deadlines, paying bills on time, getting where I need to be early, doing what I know I "should" be doing.    It will be an experiment that I'll try until the end of October.  Let's see how it works out, if things change by trying to be obedient.