I sat down at my desk this morning only to find I have not turned the pages on my "Utmost for His Highest Calendar" since the 2nd. Probably an oversight since the last two weeks have been a flurry of drama from the Ogre - taking my tiller, calling the police, stealing my van from the parking lot at work and then peppering me with innuendos that my death might be impending. The message left in full view was about the value of adversity. How it tests our metal - how it causes us to dig deeper, reach farther and endure more than we thought was possible. God and I have had this discussion before - apparently what He thinks I can handle is a good deal more than what I think I can handle.
True character is evident when a person faces adversity. The passage quoted is from John 16:33 " In this world you will have trouble; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world". Again, I have to choose - do I believe or not? No denying that GOd has taken great care of me, comforting me with friends who are outraged more than I am about what we are going through, showing me how much they love me, blessing me with the laughter of my kids, providing me with unexpected funds just when I really need them, and giving me great parents. So what does a believer look like when they go through this excitement every day - the picture of grace - accepting boundaries of the law, not exacting revenge, living by faith, walking in victory, laboring in love - secure in the knowledge that what we sow we will reap.
Do I want revenge - well , yea - but the people who love me deserve better than that. I will not dishonor their faith in me - in who I am and what I believe by reacting to the temptation to strike back. Okay, I did give in and open up the screens to let the flies in - but only after he changed all the locks and gave the key to his new girlfriend. I tell my kids all the time that just because someone else behaves badly, they may not behave badly - have to follow my own rules.
People are surprised when I say I am fine - and mostly I am. Okay, I have had more wine in the last two months than in the last three years and I can tell I have been on the "bad divorce" diet, though that is a good thing. When I am not fine I go to the well - and call the people I love, and they help me stop fussing about nothing. Why feed the Ogre with more pain and more drama. If you want to kill something, ignore it - it will die.
If there is no strain - there will be no strength. And the journey is all about developing strength in the journey - strength of conviction, strength of mind - strength of bone.
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