BUCKLE UP

My mom lives in Florida now, a result of having sold the lake house and moved to where there is a lot more to do. She relocated to The Villages, a retirement community for people who really want to maintain their active lifestyle - and she is never wanting for things to do or people to do them with.  While it took me a long time to get over losing the lakehouse, I can clearly see that the move has brought her back to life and that she is happy - so it's well worth it.  Lately, she has a friend who takes her for rides on his Harley.  My mom does this.  She may have been more of an adventurous soul than I thought!  I love the idea of her experiencing the freedom of riding the open road - and at 73, what is the worst that could happen?  Her life has an element of speed, something that normally I don't associate with her - but her daughter is intoxictated with speed...I like fast.  ALOT.

I am a closet fan of TOP GEAR- and I love to watch those guys go fast and run amok.  Growing up in Indy, I come by that addiction honestly- there is nothing like Indy in May - the roar of the engines at the speedway and everyone in town driving like they want to be Mario Andretti.  Just writing about it brings to mind those cookouts at the neighbor's house where they would have a backup Indy car in the driveway - burgers grilling, beer flowing and the conversation of contented people.

In April, I celebrated my two friends' birthdays.  I have had kind of a disjointed circle of friends since the divorce- mostly due to my own awkwardness - and I hate feeling like I might run into Justin at any moment - so I just declined invitations.  Not my smartest move.   At any rate, I went to the party and my friend Eileen had a bowl of fortune cookies as dessert (I don't eat cake, and I don't eat the cookie part either, usually).  I opened the first one "buckle up" is what it said.  We laughed and I declared that I'd be more careful with my seatbelt.

Then the conversation turned to my kids and I was pleased to report that Jerra and Josh both are working to try to get places of their own- I am soooo proud of their hard work and their willingness to do real labor to get what they want.  Then Eileens boyfriend came back with the bowl of cookies- they insisted that I got shorted on my wily fortune - so I picked another one.  Buckle up.  Again.  So now this is an admonition - I remark that I am a little afraid to drive home because it sounds like I am in for a bumpy ride.
So the cake comes around, we eat dinner, have a couple more Cokes and the last time the bowl with the cookies comes around.  I cannot even make up how freaked out I was when I got the same fortune a third time.  Truth is sooo much stranger than fiction.

We joked about this for days- and when I made it through without an accident or an issue - I figured I had avoided whatever the mishap was because I was buckled up.

But God has a sense of humor- recall that this is the creator of the platypus, and puppies who trip over their own feet - so it seems that it was a warning about the impending speed of my life. 

The kids were planning to move out - but now their timeline is greatly increased as I am moving out of this house and into a new life.  I wanted a change of scenery and more importantly, I was thinking of moving home because several of my close girlfriends are back home now - I'd like to grow old surrounded by these friends and also have my extended family.  I was hoping that Jerra and Josh might go with me - the time hasn't come yet to make a final decision - but it is likely that my time of mothering three kids alone is almost over - just like that and nearly as quickly as it started.  My time of being alone - almost over - starting a new life in a new home with my Love- so very near to reality that I can scarcely believe it.  Hang on to something - we are going to go fast.  I might want to buckle up- though it isn't particularly bumpy, it certainly is FAST.