When I was in high school, my friend John Shepley introduced me to Bob Marley. It was intoxicating: the rhythm, the feeling that I was dabbling in some black magic, the secret truths and the ganja- well everyting about Bob Marley smacked of liberation. Appropriately enough.
Tonight at the pub, he was playing over the loudspeakers and I heard his truth again:
My fear is my only courage.
Think about that for a minute.
In my current situation, my fear of repeating my same mistakes, my fear of facing the day where I will say: what if I had given more of myself, my fear of slipping into a jaded existance have all motivated me to have the courage to forge a path that I have not forged before.
I find myself stopping- reconsidering, thinking through things - in ways I have not done before.
It is refreshing - and when my love says: slow down and tell me what you need to say. I'm not going anywhere - I want to understand what you are saying.... I feel beautiful and valuable and well, I feel ways I have not felt before.
There has been passion before- the electricity and chemistry which as I have grown older, I realize is more infatuation and lust than actual love. I like passion, don't get me wrong, but it can get in the way of actually SEEING the person before you as a person, not just an illusion-filled object of your affection.
This is something smoldering. You know how a banked fire keeps the embers lit and warm overnight, offering the assurance of continued fire tomorrow? That is what this feels like.
It has been over 20 years since the man I was with was a grown-up: someone able and willing to take care of himself and his needs while protecting and providing for me. I've been waiting a long time, and whether this is permanent or just for now, I have decided to let my fear boost my courage and go down this new path.
No crying is nice for a change.
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Monday, September 06, 2010
Trust and Peyton Manning
I love Peyton Manning for a number of reasons including his humility and candor. He is accomplished and has been known to tell people that he and the offensive coordinator are the ones calling the plays - not the other members of the team. And given his success, he has a right to trust his own judgement. He told the following story starting at about the 5:30 mark on this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QZow3cuCOU
I've heard it in another interview as well, so this is paraphrased:
During the regular season, a second-year back up tight end named Brian Fletcher got to rotate in the lineup. The first time Peyton threw him a pass, they had a rhythm and an energy like guys who had been playing together for years. Brian really likes to give his ideas in the huddle for a number of offensive plays, mostly featuring him, so many of these suggestions go unnoticed. Peyton fondly calls him "The Suggestion Box". After their first game together, several games went by and he never threw to him again for one reason or another.
They still saw each other in practice, but Peyton's primary target was back to being Marvin. Still on the same team and with the same goal, but not working together at each practice.
During the 4th quarter of the AFC Championship game against rival New England Patriots, Brian once again got his chance. Brian came to the huddle and again suggested that Peyton put his faith in him and run a play that featured him receiving the ball. Peyton described as vibrating with all-over- the-place exuberance. Usually when Brian suggested such a play, Peyton said he was resistant, but this one time, he decided to try something different and use the suggestion.
The play was run, and the pass was incomplete. Fletcher didn't hold on to it despite being hit right in the numbers, and a down was wasted, and only he was to blame.
There had been a mistake - and it was serious enough that it could cost them the game.
To his credit, Fletcher comes back to the huddle and asked Peyton to run a corner route and trust him to catch it this time. Peyton told him that it took a lot of nerve to ask him to risk the game so that one person could prove himself. Fletcher asked him to do it anyway. Peyton, despite having been disappointed by this person just moments before - took a step back and thought about the suggestion - and did what Fletcher asked him to do.
The rest of the story is predictable, Peyton throws, Fletcher catches it for a 17-yard gain and 6 plays later Joseph Addai runs it in for a touchdown, winning the game ( I told you it was a Peyton story, of course they won).
Peyton said later, that if he wouldn't have said "yes" to Fletcher and believed in him, even though he had failed at the very same task just minutes before, they might have lost the game. Having faith that both of them were after the same result enabled him to trust the young receiver and complete his mission.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QZow3cuCOU
I've heard it in another interview as well, so this is paraphrased:
During the regular season, a second-year back up tight end named Brian Fletcher got to rotate in the lineup. The first time Peyton threw him a pass, they had a rhythm and an energy like guys who had been playing together for years. Brian really likes to give his ideas in the huddle for a number of offensive plays, mostly featuring him, so many of these suggestions go unnoticed. Peyton fondly calls him "The Suggestion Box". After their first game together, several games went by and he never threw to him again for one reason or another.
They still saw each other in practice, but Peyton's primary target was back to being Marvin. Still on the same team and with the same goal, but not working together at each practice.
During the 4th quarter of the AFC Championship game against rival New England Patriots, Brian once again got his chance. Brian came to the huddle and again suggested that Peyton put his faith in him and run a play that featured him receiving the ball. Peyton described as vibrating with all-over- the-place exuberance. Usually when Brian suggested such a play, Peyton said he was resistant, but this one time, he decided to try something different and use the suggestion.
The play was run, and the pass was incomplete. Fletcher didn't hold on to it despite being hit right in the numbers, and a down was wasted, and only he was to blame.
There had been a mistake - and it was serious enough that it could cost them the game.
To his credit, Fletcher comes back to the huddle and asked Peyton to run a corner route and trust him to catch it this time. Peyton told him that it took a lot of nerve to ask him to risk the game so that one person could prove himself. Fletcher asked him to do it anyway. Peyton, despite having been disappointed by this person just moments before - took a step back and thought about the suggestion - and did what Fletcher asked him to do.
The rest of the story is predictable, Peyton throws, Fletcher catches it for a 17-yard gain and 6 plays later Joseph Addai runs it in for a touchdown, winning the game ( I told you it was a Peyton story, of course they won).
Peyton said later, that if he wouldn't have said "yes" to Fletcher and believed in him, even though he had failed at the very same task just minutes before, they might have lost the game. Having faith that both of them were after the same result enabled him to trust the young receiver and complete his mission.
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