Best Friends and Other Life Miracles

Loyalty is just not that common anymore. We seem to think that we are in a disposable world: where paper cups and people have the same worth. I've heard people say that other people are irretrievable - that they are not worth my "time" or that they are not worth the effort. Believe me, if you get to know someone and invest the time, it will be well worth it. Like spending $200 to find out that someone is not who they pretend to be - totally worth it to avoid the pain.

Let's be clear - I wasn't around when time or the length of my earthly stay were decided- I just happen to be the very thankful recipient of the gift of life - and I am jumping in with both feet to enjoy it these days. At 44, I am not sure if I am halfway through- maybe even 3/4 of the way, who knows - but I do know what is important.

People are important. Love and hope are important. Showing up is important. Deodorant is also important as is toothpaste. Just sayin'.

This weekend, I watched two of my closest friends, Spencer and Tamela, marry each other. While on the surface it may look like it was me who introduced them- and I did pester them until they agreed to meet - the truth is that the Holy Spirit had them paired up all along. So we believed in love and we showed up. Only, it was I who was blessed by their event - it was I who felt loved and honored by the events of the weekend - and I was reminded of just how powerful love can be when placed in the right hands.

I have been spending a lot of time with another of my friends lately. There is a challenge to keep up when you take two people who both think quickly and try to keep the conversation on any sort of linear train. But a challenge is good for me- and the fact that the time just flies when we are talking is just an added bonus. Patience and acceptance are good. Understanding is good. And all of these things are not a part of the idea that people are disposable, but that people are worth our time and our love. Can't argue with results.

My dear friend, Steph, came over to Atlanta this week. Haven't seen each other in a couple of years and it is just like we were neighbors again. We have been friends since Arizona- so over 13 years now- and that gives her the right to say whatever she feels like she needs to. Easy conversation - honesty - talking about the things we face as working moms and the potential solutions. Nothing better than alone time with an old friend whose counsel you trust. She is a treasure and seems to be continually looking out for my best interest- for the gift of an angel who watches over me- I am again thankful.

Over the weekend - and on most weekends, I spent time with my friend Mary. She is like my older sister, since I didn't have an older sister. With 5 kids, she has a lot of mothering experience - a quick sense of humor - but most importantly, she always makes me feel welcome at her house. The ability to go there and just be for a few hours is invaluable. It is with her family that holidays and birthdays are celebrated in my yellow kitchen. She is who I call in the morning on my way to work. Mary is an action hero- if you need something taken care of, she signs up -she SHOWS up when there is a program at church or a friend who just had surgery and needs a meal. She is a gem and has taught me a lot about having a servant's heart - always the first one there and the last one to leave at church functions. She definitely gets that right.

My friend J has taught me a lot about acceptance. For a long time - even into this year - I felt GUILTY about feeling what I feel. Seriously, that is not healthy thinking and I would not be pleased with my kids at all if they did the same thing. She taught me that being just who you are, and saying what you really think is charming and lovely and most of all: not a cause for folks to run away screaming from you.

Tonight is the coup de gras, though. I am going to see my friend Lora. She is my oldest and dearest friend- having met her at Parents Without Partners when I was pregnant with Josh - so nearly 20 years ago! hard to believe. She has been my model for single parenting, a model for my Walk with Christ and my closest confidant. We know each other's secrets and that is a wondrous place to be- liberating in that there isn't anything I can say that would shock her because she has seen me at my worst - and she loves me anyway. Though we live over 4 hours away right now, she is as close as the phone. We trade dating stories, kid stories and we keep each other in prayer- probably the most valuable aspect of our friendship.

I felt moved this morning to write about this, because in the end, it is the love of those around you which is important- the network of making friends and intertwining your lives that is so very touching - and it is that love that fills the heart to overflowing.

Here is my wish for you: that you know the love of a dear friend who "gets" you and loves you anyway. That you show up and be present in the first place and most importantly, that your life is full of moments which steal your breath. Be blessed.