iPads, constant contact and Harry Potter

About two weeks ago, my company brought all of us together for training and lavished upon us an iPad. Now before you get all excited or jealous about my new technological toy- let me remind you that I still struggle with my smart phone - and did not own one Apple piece of equipment prior to this item -so I am in WAAAAAY over my head. I have figured out how to use YouTube and the PDF display for clinical articles, and this week, I figured out PODCASTS. I love books on tape- and the idea that I can listen to my favorite authors without having to stop and read a book- well, I am in hog heaven about this.

One of my friends said it best: Steve Jobs is a genius, until I had an iPad, I didn't know I needed one and now I can't imagine living without one. huh.

So today on my hour drive home I listened to a podcast on being intentional about what you want in your life. The author who was in her 40s stated that she had gone through a series of steps in order to bring romantic success to her life. When I heard them, they really rang a bell, so here goes:

1. Forgive yourself for your past faults, failings, adventures, weight....whatever you need to forgive to move on. Get out of your own way.

2. Heal up any old relationships- you know, like the one with your ex who is still your friend, right? Yes, that is correct.

3. Make a list of those things you want in a mate ( my friend Steph did this ages ago- it worked) and look for someone who has most all of those traits, and definitely all the non- negotiables.

4. Be patient and get on with your life while you wait.

Well said, ma'am. And there is the glimmer of a possibility that my waiting days are numbered. That'd be great.

Several months ago, I met someone and I thought he had real potential. He was definitely the kind of man I was interested in on paper. I struggled to make sense of his behavior, and because I couldn't make it fit, it never moved past that awkward stage. And for that I am grateful.

Because had that moved on to something else, I would not be on my way to go see Harry Potter on opening night with someone who fits - and who doesn't make me struggle at all.

Waiting and waiting

Did you ever just need to know why someone did something - and the question just permeates your thoughts to the point that you would do just about anything to get the question answered?

I have felt that way over the past few days- I want to know why -I just want to have my questions answered before there is no longer the motivation to get them answered. I have mentioned before that I am an excellent starter-wife. Like Good Luck Chuck, I end a long-term relationship and we become friends, talking about things that have happened and performing the autopsy on the relationship - then their next relationship is the one that sticks - but not the one with me. I'm not having a pity party- I am trying to figure out why this happens. Since it is a pattern, there has to be a reason. This is a season where I am trying to really figure out what things I need to change to move on to the next phase of my life- and for once, I thought I could get what I needed- and again, I am left waiting.

I don't know that anyone even has the answers anymore- or that I want to know what the other person actually thinks of me. The downside to knowing someone well is that their opinion actually matters. I really needed to have some questions answered- but instead I still wait.

Waiting waiting waiting - wait for answers, wait for someone to love you back, wait for your time, wait to finish your remodeling, wait to refinance the house, wait for the kids to grow up so that you can do what you want, wait for Christmas, wait for....everything. Sometimes I just get tired of waiting - and when for whatever reason, the person I needed answers from couldn't give them to me, I just broke down and cried in frustration.

I know God will take care of me- and that waiting on Him will be worth it and that He loves me even when I am impatient, but for today I am tired of waiting.