Some days suck...

This is a picture of my folks from last year - Father's Day if I remember correctly - just outside of the Roof Garden at Indiana Beach.

I talked to my mom last night for a long time. Seems that the radiation bought some time, but isn't doing all they want it to do for the cancer - and the kidneys are being shut off - so my dad is having surgery today - getting a line installed for dialysis.

They have been dealing with this for two years now, and I think it is a testament to how well my dad took care of himself for all those years, that he has been able to withstand all the chemicals coursing through his veins. And a testament to their faith - that they just keep trying even when it doesn't look so promising.

I wish I could fix it - I wish there was something else to do - but in the end, as in all else, we do teh best we can and rely on God to make up the difference. Sufficient unto the day.

And if you have a minute - say a prayer for them - pray for peace in their hearts, pray for strength - and healing wouldn't be bad either.

*update* in true Loner fashion, my dad decided things were too big of a mess at the hospital this morning - that there were too many problems - so he just called me and was on his way home. Apparently surgery is delayed - and he may be waiting for Dr Ash himself to insert the Ash split. You just never know,.

Not falling for this!

If there was one thing I could change it would be my fear of heights - well, not heights exactly, but the fear of falling and falling and falling to my death - from something high up.

When I lived by the rim of Canyon de Chelly - it was bad - since I wanted to look down, but it scared the crap out of me. I forced myself to look anyway - but a small part of me was always morbidly waiting for one of my family - or me - to fall right off the side. Sick, I know.

I haven't seen the Grand Canyon because I am afraid of the drop - though I love looking at the pictures. And now this story about an amazing platform that will let you go over the cliff and get a bird's eye view.

But unless I overcome my fear, these pictures are the closest I will ever get - and that makes me sad.

Hello kiddies

I am applying for a job with a Fortune 500 company, and since three people from work now read my other site, along with the inlaws, I decided to scooch!

Thanks for coming by- and I promise to download the pictures of all the babies and my house goat Louise!

Whew!

Part One: Bourbon
Friday night we went to dinner club with my friend Irene. Seems one of the couples in her club had to stop coming - so we were added. Her husband kept encouraging me to have one more drink - three bourbons, two Irish Coffees and a cream liquor ( or three) later, I couldn't drive home. Bill is in his eighties - and true to the Irish Rogues I have known in the past he joked that he wasn't trying to ply me with liquor, unless of course it was working! I made some great fig cake - though the chocolate guiness puddings were a little rough. We had so much fun that when it got to midnight, we were surprised -but left anyway. They are so genuinely charming - just down to earth and practical - I have really enjoyed them.

Part Two: Summer Already
Saturday was fanatastic - I woke the kids with a bagpipe and drum cd - quietly at first- then full force. I made bacon and oatmeal and fried potatoes - mmm Irish breakfast.
We got downtown to the parade and what should we find but Summer! She was dressing out for the parade, but that other person who was supposed to be in costume with her bailed. So we brought her with us instead. It was cold, but we managed to get a sunburn in spite of that. Only 4 peices of candy, though. What the hell is that? I thought that was a big part of the parade- to throw candy at the kids??? Anyway - after the parade Summer's fiance' changed out of his costume and we went out to eat at the Greasy Spoon.

This city landmark is known for no nonsense burgers and onion rings - great chili fries and chili dogs. If you don't know what you want when you get to the counter, they'll send you to the back of the line. The counter person yells: whatll ya have? whatll ya have?" Then yells back your order. We bulked up on grease and cholesterol - and loved every second of it. While Ivan was quiet in the beginning, the inner geek of the gentlemen at our table kicked in and they spent most of lunch talking about movie stuff.
I should be able to post some pictures tonight - but the USB cable was messed up and I couldn't get them to download.
After we went home, we settled in to dinner of Corned Beef and Cabbage - and new potatoes, and carrots and honey oatmeal bread ( that did in fact have flaxseeds, but you wouldn't have minded, it was like oatmeal cookies in bread form - I'm having it again today for lunch!)

Part Three: Running
Sunday we were on cleanup duty after coffee and donuts. while this means we are assured a donut for breakfast - it also means we are stuck at church until 11:20. We wiped tables, vacuumed and swept the floor and got to spend a while with my friend Mary from church.
My friend Irene, who provided the hooch on Friday night, asked me to go with her for a luncheon to join the K of C Columbiettes. Little did we know that we were stuck there from noon until 4pm. Holy moses. But the ceremony was painless and the sausage and peppers at the end was good - so no complaints here!
I got home only to find that Josh and his three buddies needed a ride about half an hour away to a birthday party - so back in the car I went. I got home about 15 minutes before CCD where we practiced for Confirmation on Wednesday.
Confirmation practice went well, I am astounded, though, by the number of people who feel it is appropriate to yell in the sacristy - it makes me tired when people act like their opinion is more important than what is best for the group... but that is a whole other issue.
On the way out of church, I called Justin - offered to stop and pick up something for dinner since it was only the two of us - and Jake. Justin was out putting all the animals away, and I was looking forward to sitting down for a bit.

I walked in with my Taco Bell tacos - pleased with myself for managing to get dinner by 9 after the day I had - when I heard one of Josh's friends in the front room. Seems they upset the mother who was picking them up and she came at 8 instead of 11. 10 tacos was not going to feed 6 people - especially since four of them eat like teenagers. Thank God for a well stocked pantry - I whipped up chipotle brown rice - a can of Organic Black beans -with green chiles added in - then I sauteed up some shrimp and grilled a couple pork chops.
Miraculously, 30 minutes later there was dinner - and I even had a little rice and beans left over. Crisis averted.
By bedtime, I was whipped - but a little Kahlua knocked the stress right out of me - oh yea, have you ever seen Conan the Destroyer? It is on our free movies right now - and it was better than I thought it would be - or that might have been the Kahlua.

Happy Birthday Early

My mothers birthday is on Saturday, Saint Patrick's Day.
All my life this day has held significance, rivaled only by Christmas. We have corned beef and cabbage, we drink irish Coffee and Green beer - we go listen to the bagpipers. Oh teh bagpipers. I don't know, since I am adopted, exactly where my family came from - but there must be some Celtic blood in there somewhere in my 5'10" frame because the sound of those bagpipes moves me to tears - and seems to evoke such a visceral response that can only be from some ancient knowing deep within my bones. They sound like home to me.
When the kids were little, I took Jerra to the parade in downtown Indianapolis - and as the family grew, the number of green bagels and bags of candy grew as well. We would stand awestruck while watching the Gordon Pipers - the same guys we'd watch later that night at Sullivans - and in May at the 500.
I have some great memories of St Pats - including the year that we took Jerra's very Italian looking father to the pub where he laughed and laughed at people's reaction when they told them he was a Kelly. We had a great time that night - back when everyone was young and healthy.
Last year, we decided to sneak attack and drive up to see my mom on St Pats. It took a lot of coordination to get everyone out of school and make the trip. I was talking to her on the cell as we pulled into Reihle Brothers - and she told me later that she kept looking at that girl and thinking she looked like me. It was a great surprise. This year, I went up to see my dad for his birthday instead - so I'll miss the Indiana version of Green beer.
Since it is just the two of them, my folks are going to a retreat for the weekend - something they need since dad's struggle with cancer doesn't seem to be letting up.
If you get a minute, and want to leave her a happy birthday note, here is my momma's blogger: http://www.thoughtsfromserenity.blogspot.com/

Hope

It astounds me when you get teenagers talking about ways to change the world. They are filled with so much hope, so much promise - and they are SURE that things can change.
I spent the weekend with a group of 27 kids and we talked about forgiveness, honor, truth, and of course being Catholic in the modern world. A lot of deep topics for 48 hours - but teh comments the kids had, the hope they had, was infectious.

There is the possibility that my friend and I will be in charge of the confirmicants next year, and I think we will probably choose a different camp - since the director was happy to take our money, but didn't respond to calls about setting up a campfire on Saturday or providing us with a vacuum.

I had to eat junk food, though, for most of our meals - and my belly was so upset by Sunday afternoon that I could hardly believe it. I crashed out for 4 hours, then tried to get back in the swing by cooking dinner.

Oh and note to self - if you are going to schedule a retreat weekend with teenagers, do it on a weekend where the time doesn't spring forward.

another bachelor weekend

Last weekend, I went to see my folks. This weekend, I am headed off to the Confirmation retreat with the teenagers from our parish. I am really excited about this, though it has brought me to a lot of thinking lately. I have spent a lot of Sunday evenings trying to share what I know about God and the world and how things work and how faith and hope always truimph over evil.

But in my daily life, it is tough. I have friends who don't believe. I have friends who are not only athiests, they are actively discrediting what I believe - making jokes about Jesus and about Christians in general. That is a tough thing. How do you live a life with the credo to love one another when someone attacks the heart of your belief system? I wonder how those same people could miss the stories about the christians who have helped rebuild Mississippi on their mission trips - about the millions of people helped by Catholic Charities - the people fed and clothed by Christians seeking to do the right thing, James Dobson, Billie Graham, Max Lucado, Rich Mullens, or Mother Theresa for pete's sake. Well, I guess I just don't know exactly how to handle that kind confrontation so I just don't say anything.
Making statements about all Christians is like me deciding that all men were bad and abusive just because one or two in my lifetime have behaved that way. I certainly can attest that a man pushed far enough will hit his wife - and a ten year old stepson. A drunken man will strangle his wife and then forget he ever did such a thing. That a man will date rape a woman he cannot have otherwise just to prove a point. That a husband will sleep with someone else just to show you he can do whatever he wants. That a boyfriend will choose cocaine over a promise to your kids. But there are other men who mean it when they make a promise and stand by their wives and children - who struggle with two jobs to keep their families fed and clothed and never say an ill word. So speaking badly about one portion of the male population isn't fair to the millions of people who have behaved well.
If there was anything I learned by working in a psych hospital it was that people have so many more facets than what we see on the surface - and they are capable of amazing good - and astounding evil. Just because you label someone as bipolar doesn't mean he won't turn out to be Einstein or Abe Lincoln.

And whether it is in spite of that, or because of that, I choose to dedicate a part of my life to teaching these kids about God. The world is such a busy and tempting place. It seems so important to have some sort of compass to guide where you want to go. Not so that they become robots and never think about what they believe - but so that they have a starting place to wrestle with God and the world - so that they can ask questions and come up with answers which can make a difference. Is that naive? well, maybe. But when we start believing that we have limits - that we can't do anything, then we can't. There is a real difference between a dream that is difficult versus a dream that is insurmountable. That is what I want the kids to understand - that if they want to make a difference - leave the world a better place, they need only have enough faith in themselves, hope in the future and love for one another to make that difference.
Here is hoping that for the hour I have to speak to them, there will be truth and hope in my words.

I gotta new love

Organic Fuji Apples - holy moly.
I have been substituting these when I need a little something between the morning grits and bacon ( especially if I don't have time for eggs).
I cannot get over the sweetness.
When followed by some pecans or pistachios - well it is nearly heaven.
Totally worth the extra dollar for the organic ones.
PS by cutting down on the Coke Zero to one measly bottle a day - and adding in these apples I have now dropped 12 pounds. Only 70 more to go.