Kindred Spirits

On Friday I attended my 20th high school reunion. I have good memories from high school, but also a lot of not-so great memories. In my twenties, I discovered that I was much happier being my wild self than I was trying to be good and fit the image my folks projected. Don't get me wrong, they were and continue to be great parents. But the need to have a good daughter with a happy home and a white picket fence has put enormous pressure on me. Did so in high school, too. I remember feeling like lots of people were more beautiful, more popular, more together - and generally just more.

At the reunion, I started talking to Suzanne. Probably didn't talk to her 20 minutes the whole time I was in high school. We ran with different crowds most of the time. Both of us dated Juniors during our freshman year. These two guys hung out together and must have been drinking the same water because it turns out that they were both really possessive and both pushed physical limits well before the girlfriends were ready. Perhaps that is the advantage of having a 14-year old girlfriend. Suzanne has had trouble just like I have - we compared notes about how we couldn't pick husbands very well, but we had been with a couple of great boyfriends - not including the psycho high school boyfriends. I actually had someone tell me that the guys thought I was way out of the "psycho-boyfriend's" league and that they loved me and didn't understand why I would not date anyone from my own high school. I wanted to say Duh - that after the first one I learned that I liked my privacy when it came to romance.

The most odd thing was that we saw something of each other in the story. Putting up with too much, getting tired of being alone - looking in the mirror and wondering why other people found happiness and we found divorce court once again. The cycle of being enticed, captured, and disposed of has taken it's toll. We had SO much fun- talking about folks in our group who still didn't' get it - who still thought that money and a trophy wife meant happiness - or the women, only a couple, who still think that money and big diamonds make you better than everyone else.

Interestingly we have coped with it differently. The last time I got hurt, I hid - mostly behind late night jobs and Taco Bell. I found that when I was heavy, fewer of those predatory men were willing to seek me out - and they stopped treating me like a piece of ass. Suzanne on the other hand looked fantastic - Better even than in high school, but she has her shield up. She is at time noisy and brash, but she didn't bother with the 80 pound thing. Probably a healthier choice! What a riot she is.

The most remarkable thing about the reunion, was that in some ways, it was like being 18 again - and in others it was like meeting your classmates all over again, in their new and improved incarnations. We remembered good things about one another - perhaps the best part of each other - and that was a beautiful thing. So thankful that I went, glad I drank too much Merlot, and glad I made new friends out of old acquintances.