It has been said that to act on something without tangible proof and very little direction is foolish - even reckless. But I know better. I remember clearly praying that I would get some direction about staying or moving 8 years ago- and the direction was super clear.
I believe that there are signs and indications that things are headed a certain way - little coincidences that are difficult to ignore and when added up together give rise to the hope of something marvelous on the horizon.
It was those little coincidences - that little nudge - that started this path and allowed me to find the person I have been looking for - the one I will spend the rest of my days with.
So four months ago I made the declaration that I was going to move home, marry my love and live happily ever after. Faith has guided me through.
Step one happens this weekend - all my things are packed and awaiting the truck to take them home. I am moving my things into his home with nothing more than a verbal committment on his part - and the knowledge that moving home is where I have been destined for a long time. I should be nervous about this - but instead, there is a peace and calm like this was totally the Plan the whole time.
My things are packed, truck reservations made, vacation scheduled and now all that stands between me and a move home are the hours of the next few days.
When I come home I will put my house on the market and take another step toward home.
Gotta say that standing on the precipice is thrilling- I am so excited about what this future holds.
Stay tuned - I'm sure there will be an adventure in this move process!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Five Years and Counting
It seems like just the other day that my Dad would call me and tell me things were going to be alright - or that I didn't have the luxury of falling apart so I had better figure something out. I'd be happy to hear either from him these days.
I miss him.
Five years ago we were getting ready for his funeral and I couldn't have predicted the way things would turn out. I remember when I got married that I had hoped that when the day came, my partner would be able to stand beside me and I could fall apart. Eh, that didn't exactly happen- instead it became the pivotal moment when the love I had for him stopped and I knew it was over. I still think Dad had a hand in that - I would have tortured myself for years trying to make something work out of all those pieces.
The funny thing is that we use Dad as a reference point - when things are going well or the kids do something particularly ingenious, I will tell them: well of course you can do that, You are Dave Loner's grandchild. It's in your nature. And they just beam because there is no greater compliment in this house.
We are headed back to Logansport on Monday for a family gathering, and for the first time in a couple years, I'll go back to where his gravesite is. He made the wooden crosses out of cedar, and we put a plaque on them - I think Mom has since gotten something a little bolder - but personally, I like the cedar crosses.
I was thinking today that I hope he is looking down and saying that he thinks we are doing a pretty good job considering the information we are working with and that he'd be proud of us.
I miss him.
Five years ago we were getting ready for his funeral and I couldn't have predicted the way things would turn out. I remember when I got married that I had hoped that when the day came, my partner would be able to stand beside me and I could fall apart. Eh, that didn't exactly happen- instead it became the pivotal moment when the love I had for him stopped and I knew it was over. I still think Dad had a hand in that - I would have tortured myself for years trying to make something work out of all those pieces.
The funny thing is that we use Dad as a reference point - when things are going well or the kids do something particularly ingenious, I will tell them: well of course you can do that, You are Dave Loner's grandchild. It's in your nature. And they just beam because there is no greater compliment in this house.
We are headed back to Logansport on Monday for a family gathering, and for the first time in a couple years, I'll go back to where his gravesite is. He made the wooden crosses out of cedar, and we put a plaque on them - I think Mom has since gotten something a little bolder - but personally, I like the cedar crosses.
I was thinking today that I hope he is looking down and saying that he thinks we are doing a pretty good job considering the information we are working with and that he'd be proud of us.
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