The Night I Became Joe Loner, by his grandaughter

We have a phrase among the family, used to decscribe those moments when logic overtakes gentility, and a person says what needs to be said, even if it is a bit offensive. These moments are often wrought with high emotion - but they are moments of truth. We call it beign " Joe Loner". My grandfather was a bright man, worked with his hands most of his life. He married a Scottish Protestant - a Stewart no less - whose family disowned her and her 9 kids because she had deigned to marry a Catholic. Quite the story, though off topic at the moment.

I went to church last night for a meeting of the teachers of Religious Education ( CCD for us old timers). I am new to this parish, but volunteered for a couple of ministries to get to know the other families. During the course of the meeting, some problems were discussed - and much to my dismay - all of the solutions were punative. I was sitting back, and saying - "hey God, I offered to help, but I wanted a place of sanctity - and this isn't it. I think this is a mistake"

Well, He doesn't take these comments easily.

A man infront of me interjected after a particularly heated interlude, saying that his experience had been that we get more results with honey than with vinegar. A couple of people poo pood him.

Then Joe Loner took over. I raised my hand, looked directly at the priest and said ( something like this) I am new to this parish, but I know that there are lots of parishes who have managed to balance coffee and donuts with CCD. There are ways to reach an amicable solution. All I know is that so far all I have heard is punishment and discipline. We are here to teach the kids about being Christian - and I don't hear anything about love and mercy and patience and acceptance. I realize this is important, but do we really want to show the kids that being Christians means being punative? I don't.

Father looked me right back and said: well, young lady, if you can come up with a positive solution, have at it.

I have taken that as a personal challenge, just as my grandfather - or my folks would have.

I believe God doesn't put us anywhere by accident - that things are tied together for a reason. But just like those who came before me, my idea of what I can handel and His, don't always match.

Let the coffee and donuts begin!

It is time

Well, football season is upon us
things are starting to settle down
So it is time to start using all that lumber and paint we have lying around

I toured the new hospital yesterday - our system is expanding - and I was just inspired.
The designer has used about five different shades of hardwood, granite and sandstone, frosted glass with designs like twigs, and greens and blues and earth tones in such a way that you almost feel like you are walking through an outdoor pavillion in the woods - rather than through a hospital.

So inspiration has finally struck - and I know what I want in my own house - the feel of nature the greens and blues and muted colors that are so comforting outside.

So this weekend, I am starting with the kids bathroom - a room that time forgot somewhere back in the 70s. The old rusty wall heater comes out - the wallpaper goes out - and lush green paint - a new shower curtain and new mirror comes in. I am so EXCITED about having something fun to do - that will have such a positive impact!

The smelly blue carpet is next....

The Scene

in other news - if you want to see some updated Ridge pics, my hubby updated over at the Scenes - stupid USB cable still isn't working - and neither is the replacement - so they are pics from his camera. More to follow!

Love Always Wins

This weekend my friend, Dale, gave a sermon at his church called Out of the Depths. If you have ever struggled and wondered "why", take a moment and read what he has written.

Sometimes I feel like I am a bit preachy here - but my faith is so terribly important to me - that of course that shows here as well.

You see, God pursued me, relentlessly. Rich Mullins used to describe God as being obsessed with us - creating us to love Him, and giving us free will so that we could choose to love Him back - or walk away. He brought me home safe many nights when I had no business driving - gave me wonderful children so that I would learn what love really is -saved me from someone who wanted to kill me - and even after I had sinned against him - and my kids - and my family - He took me back, each time. There was never the bright lightening bolt - like on the road to Damascus, but there were events - a series of coincidences and blessings that were unmistakably orchestrated by someone who loved me.

I have work to do, so I'll have to finish this thought later - but take a moment and see what Dale had to say.

oops my inner wild girl is showing!

My husband just called, seems our friends inherited tickets to go see Cinderella and Poison in concert downtown. They offered the tickets to us. So this evening, we will be relishing the company of others, strolling down memory lane, remembering a time when these guys were young - and so were we. Cheers to 80s hair bands.

Missing my baby...

Yesterday, my friend sent her son off to school for teh first time. Listening to her talk about her baby made me miss the time when I had little bitty kids - and this song keeps running through my head - It is from the new Dixie Chicks album:

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

Lullaby, Dixie Chicks 2006

Before Dawn

I am not sure what sadist came up with the brilliant idea that high school here should start promptly at 7am, but let me tell ya, getting up each day at 6 to get Josh to school - well, I could live without that. Josh has been a trooper - getting up a couple of days without my help at all.

Don't get me wrong, I am a morning person - I love being up and getting things done before the rest of the crew is awake - I normally hit megamart Saturday morning by about 7:30 to avoid the crowds. But 6am is now before dawn - and about 6:15 the rooster starts in- and the naughty dog, Bear starts barking for breakfast - and it is a bit too early for all this activity.

What do you think?

I did a bit of surfing yesterday - not the literal kind, but linking on to new people who had made interesting comments on the folks I normally read. In doing this, I happened upon a comment that was a bit terse, and I decided to see what the blog was like. I am not sure if what I happened upon was a real blog - where a person was venting the "not so beautiful parts" of their feelings - or if it was made up. But it was the comments that slayed me. They were nasty - full of piss and vinegar because the things this person was expressing were not filled with goodness and light. Whether or not it was real seems irrelevant to me - this is supposed to be a place where we can vent - and dream - and create - and find other souls who think and feel and love. It makes me wonder if someone found my other blog - the place where I write down the ugly thoughts and fears that are not for public consumption - what they would think of me - without the mask of propriety - with my secrets showing. Being human means we are both darkness and light - and that we go through times where what we think isn't pretty - but does that give us the right to pounce on someone - man, I hope not.

Trouble

What I had hoped was the beginning of the end of my dad's saga with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, has hit a snag. Here is his note:

Well, the league office (Mayo Clinic) made some major changes in our playing schedule. They have sent us back to training camp for more work with Coach before we start our season schedule. After the two salvage chemo treatments in Indiana, there is still too much cancer remaining for a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) to be effective. Sooooo, it's back to Indiana and at least one, maybe two more rounds of two-a-day drills (chemo) with Coach. So the BMT has been delayed for several months. Yippee, we'll get to start the season at the beginning of a Minnesota winter - sounds great! Pat and I will be returning to Indiana this Fri - don't know yet when chemo starts, but it will be soon. It's somewhat of a letdown after all the preparations, but the "Lord's will be done". Thanks for all of your prayers and support - and keep them coming. Through all this there is some great news - last Sunday shortly after arriving at the Gift For Life Transplant House here at Mayo, I was watching Tiger brush over the other golfers at the PGA, and sat next to a fellow (in his 40's) named Andy. Andy is from North Carolina and has been here for 4.5 months waiting for a heart and liver transplant - both need to come from the same donor. Well lo & behold, Andy received word late this afternoon that a donor had been found. The whole house lined up in the hallway as he left and gave him a rousing sendoff to the hospital. His surgery is scheduled for 7am in the morning. The Lord works in strange ways. Maybe I can get a few more rounds of golf in before the snow flies. See ya

I have been reading a book called All Is Well, a conglomeration of quotes and insights. Of course, as I was going to copy a quote, the book has vanished from my nightstand. What I found interesting was a quote about suffering. It said that God allows those people who have the potential to obtain sainthood to suffer. He gives them opportunities to test their mettle - strengthening their character and their faith. When I read it I thought maybe that is why we seem to be so immersed in trials right now - and why overall our lives are happy, but these trials just keep bringing negativity into our lives. Who knows.... I have decided that someday, after I breathe my last breath, I will ask Him - why must You test us if You can already see our hearts? Why do the evil prosper and the good struggle? Why are we so prideful and hell-bent on doing things that hurt ourselves and others? I have a lot of questions - though I am not in that big of a hurry to have them answered, I sure would like to know what we are supposed to be learning from all the trouble.

Why we say "til death do us part"

It occurred to me that over the past couple of weeks - well months actually - it had been getting harder and harder to be married. Since I seem to be hell bent on being "coordinator of the universe" I am sure that I have been no picnic to live with. Add in daughter of to college, Dad off to Mayo Clinic, Mom having to shoulder much of the load alone, worries about the boys and ... well you get the picture.

While I was thinking about this, it came to me. There is a reason that we make a promise for forever: because otherwise when the newness wore off we would be running for the next new love- or running for the hills! Being married is hard, even when you are a good match for each other. It is expected that even in a marriage of mutual respect, there will be days that you want to bop your spouse over the head and clear up their thinking - and it takes awhile before you realize it is okay to feel that way. You cannot always control how you feel, but you can control what you do about it. It is hard to say the things that need to be said - to provide constructive criticism for each other when all you really want to do is lash out.

Oddly enough, I was reminded that there is a list for what love looks like in action: patient, kind, never jealous, never boastful - rejoicing in the truth. Being committed to each other is committing to a life of service - because there are no guarantees of jobs or health or money or time. We just have to the best we can with what we have. Rather than focusing on what we wanted - it seems much more healthy to focus on what we have before us. I just needed to write this for myself - as a reminder that I am blessed to have found someone who loves me and my kids enough to tolerate me, and in a selfish vein, I am blessed to have found someone that I cherish enough to keep trying to fix things - so that eventually our story will end: and they lived happily ever after.

Beginnings

My mom called last night, they arrived at Mayo last night. And so it begins. She is updating her blog on a daily basis with info about the treatments. Feel free to leave her a kind word - this is going to be a rough couple of weeks. I will probably be driving up there the weekend of Labor Day - so Marc, I may just take you up on that offer for BBQ! I figured on Mapblast that it would take me about 21 hours to drive - and since I am not leavign for a week without carry-on luggage, I am driving.

I got a call on Friday from a woman who had a diabetic dog, a Landseer Newfoundland. The pharmacy had given her the wrong type of insulin and her dog didn't make it. That was about three weeks ago, and she had convinced herself she was ready for another dog, so she took in two puppies, Newfie/Pyrenese cross puppies. But she wasn't ready, and she wanted to know if I would take them in. Oh look, a puppy......

So I did. New additions to our house include Koda and Miley, who, at 4 months, are about 30 pounds a piece. Here is a picture of the breed - and roughly their coloration - but I'll have to get some pictures. I am hopeful that by the end of September, we will be ready to start adopting some of these dogs out - so that we can make room for more!

When Jake Became a Celebrity in Daytona Beach Florida

Jake's new teacher wanted a story about him - so I sent her this one and thought I'd share!

Four years ago, the family made it's first trip to Daytona Beach. Jake's grandparents stay for a month every year at Perry's Lodge, so the whole family was going to spend a week together. It is a big hotel with an indoor atrium, whirlpool, miniature golf and a pool. Perry's claim to fame is the donuts. The owners used to run a bakery in the Midwest, and when they moved to Daytona, they brought their donut skills with them.

On the morning they arrived, the whole group gathered in the dining hall for fresh donuts and coffee. During the trip down to Florida, they had listened to the details of the Columbia shuttle disaster, and that morning they were mezmerized by CNN while eating fresh donuts and drinking fresh squeezed orange juice. The kids had gone back and forth between the dining hall and the pool while the grown ups chatted away the morning.

After breakfast, Mom went to the grocery store to stock up and the kids headed out to explore the Atlantic Ocean. About twenty minutes into their walk, Jake decided to run back to the hotel. Now the hotels from the front look very distinct, but from the beach, all of the teal blue painted porches look the same. Jake walked up to the hotel, went into the lobby, used the restroom and then went in search of our room. After looking for a few minutes, he was sure something was wrong, so he went back to the lobby in search of the security guard.

At about that time, his sister realized he had not come back and got worried. She went back to the hotel and after finding that he had not stayed in the room, she alerted the hotel staff who then called the police. There was some speculation that Jake could be with his grandparents, who had run over to church after breakfast. Within minutes of the report to the police, an Amber Alert went out with his name and description on TV and over the radio. Grandma and Grandpa Loner were stopped on their way out of church by the Daytona Police who recognized the Indiana license plate and asked them if they were Jake's family. They were shocked, and remarked that it hadn't taken long for Daytona to get to know Jake!

Someone from the hotel came across the street to where Jake's mom was getting groceries - and she left her cart in the frozen food section of Piggly Wiggly to come find him.

About the same time as Jake's mom was crossing the street, Jake had found the security guard, and in classic Jake fashion, he asked the guard where they kept their donuts and coffee because he knew how to get to the room from there. When they reached the kitchen, Jake realized he was at the wrong hotel. The guard called the police, who said that there was an alert out for him. The guard and Jake came strolling across the walk - from the hotel next door - right as his mom got to door of the room.

And that is how Jake became famous - having caused an Amber Alert before he had been in Florida 24 hours

New Beginnings

I missed it. Justin had to take Bear to start college today. Classes start next week, but the incoming freshmen have a few days of getting accomodated - and hopefully some time for job hunting. This is Bear's new house - WAY bigger than my house! It is the same women's dorm my sister in law stayed in when she spent time at Bear's college.

All her bags were packed - pink and orange decorations piled high. It was sad to see them - and I think it will really floor me when I have to go box up the rest of her things in her room - or I may just leave them out for awhile - just in case she still wants a room at her momma's house.

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

Yes ladies and gentlemen, football season is upon us.

Friday night we met Bear and Cat ( yes, these are members of our family, sadly enough their parents gave them odd names). Dinner was at Jillian's, and we hoped to get to know Cat better and have some time to relax. Unfortunately, the Falcons were on - and the TV was about a jillion feet high - so I had to turn my back to it. We did succumb to the end of the fourth quarter - and those new Peyton Manning commercials - you know the ones where he has hair. We discovered much to our chagrin, that Cat does have one flaw - he doesn't like football - to the point of actual dislike. We'll have to work on that one. Dinner was great - as was the end of the game.

Jake is playing football for the 6th grade team that will feed into MegaHigh School. He is starting on offense - left gaurd, and rotating in on defense. He has been a great trouper - not complaining about practice in the 100 degree heat.

Saturday we had our first scrimmage - Jake was good - getting in a couple of tackles and lots of good hits. They rotated him to noseguard for a few plays - so the coaches are toying with his position a little - and that is a good thing. He hasn't found his niche - but has made some friends.

More importantly, we met some folks who go to the church right across the way from us - and we sat with them on Sunday morning - happy to have some friends at church instead of feeling like strangers.

My Yahoo calendar has all the Colts games marked - and the Falcons too - since those are more likely to be on the TV here. Are you ready for some football? I am .

Yellow

Back in December, my mom bought napkins and plates for Bear's graduation party. We were hoping to have a big party - but there were issues with one of her classes, then money has been tight - and it just hasn't happened. So I tucked the plates away.

We decided to have a little get together this weekend, and since our house is in no state to welcome visitors, we decided to have it at the clubhouse where my inlaws live. Saturday I had to go get the remaining supplies.

Right there in the party aisle of Mega Mart - it hit me. My daughter - the baby who saved my life - my constant companion - is moving away. Maybe forever.

And I wondered if I had told her everything she needed to survive on her own - if there was anything I had forgotten - if I had been a good enough mother for her.

The tears just started flowing - and I couldn't even decide what color napkins to buy - so I did what any insane person would do - I called my husband and asked him to describe the plates my mother had bought back in December so that I could match the color of the napkins over the phone. Seriously.

Luckily for me, he didn't divorce me over that one - though he did remind me that this was no where near the version of the woman he married.

The party was great, so was the cake, and watching her, I think she's ready.

Oh yes, and I picked the sunshine yellow napkins - to combat my ultra blue mood.

3

Well, I may be the only person south of the Mason Dixon line who had not already seen the moving story of Dale Earnhart, from the ESPN special - but I caught up this weekend.

It was a great story - and for someone who is a die hard Indy car fan - that is saying a lot. It never ceases to amaze me - or impress me - when someone really finds their niche and is able to spend their life doing what they love. MOre importantly, it helped clear up some things - like how the kids fit in and why Jr used the number 8 - which belonged to his grandfather, Ralph Earnhart, a man presented in the movie to be even more aggressive a driver than Dale Sr.

The best part, however, were the special features on the DVD. There was interview after interview of people who knew the real man - the one who visited hospitals and bought plane tickets for friends to see their ailing mothers - the one who loved his children and pushed them to succeed, the one who loved his wife and strived to be a better man.

I have become a NASCAR fan - mostly because racing brings such fond memories of growing up in Indianapolis. As kids, we went to the 500 for many years - and it was always a big event as my parents friends rolled into town for the big race. I thought about walking to the track , toting coolers and bags and seat cushions on our march to the Indy 500.
Watching the Brickyard 400 last weekend, I was so impressed by the reverence the track brings - how so many NASCAR drivers are honored to even be at the track - let alone win at the track. And maybe that has been the final bit of my conversion - these are guys who are living their dream, and it is a joy to behold.

New mama

Abotu two months ago we took in some Cochins, which are really little chickens - about a pound soaking wet.

All four of them have decided they are mamas- settign eggs from bigger chickens, the other cochins and the ducks.

This morning, Messy, a little black and white chicken, became the proud mama of a baby duck!

Biker Bar Therapy

Saturday morning, I got up early, greeted by Jake who still hugs me and nearly knocks me over. I love that. The last couple - what do I put here - weeks, months - whatever - have been rough emotionally. And I don't always handle things well. I have become quite adept at living in a bad marraige, with a man I don't like anymore - but being married to someone I like - and someone I want to stay with - a "good marriage" per se - is a whole new thing to me. It is a LOT harder because I can't just run away and start over. It is so aggravating that hours of therapy and years of living well still compel me to fall into old habits of pushing people away when I really need them the most. Stupid personality flaw.

Anyway, I went to work on the empty house - yet again - and was back at our house by 11 - with piles of trash to be taken out - dishes - laundry - dogs in my rose garden and the prospect of a pig pen that still needs to be built. Oh yes, and it was over 90 again. I was seriously angry with every member of my family - including the dogs in my roses. I expressed my displeasure - I can be a real ass when I feel this way, so I decided to work outside and fix the fencing around my pond and roses so a part of the yard would stay safe from the dogs - and I wouldn't have anyone in my immediate vicinity to harangue.

One of my girlfriends at work was having a going away party at a biker bar that gleaned two offers from my other friends who live near there to come bail me out of jail should a fight break out. Okay then - an adventure at best.

My husband, God bless his soul, agreed to come with me - even though I was bordering on "complete ass" at that point.

The Long Island Ice Teas just kept coming - interspersed by a wonderful batch of wings and Bleu Cheese dressing, CCR, Lynrd Skynard, Dirks Bentley, and a singer who forgot the words to the song by Cream. It was loud - it was fun - and I didn't have anyone or anything I had to take care of for hour after hour. Bonus - my husband, who still owed me a dance from Stephanie's wedding 26 months ago - finally paid up during Stevie Ray Vaughn. Yep all in all - it was a much needed respite.

And I found my nice self again.

It is so easy to forget there is a Stace in here who is not a mom or a wife or a nurse or a farmer - that there is a part of me who just needs to relax - and watch football and chow down some wings - and drink too much and laugh loudly - and play a very sad game of pool. Sometimes that girl just needs a night out.

I found a roll of film:

And discovered that my son's secret identity is THE HULK!

the look of love

Last night I came home and found a couple of wet dogs in the yard. While this is normally not an issue - it was well over 90 and the little pond with the very big frog was still full.

They had broken down my fence and hopped into the main pond - the one place in the yard that I am still able to garden and get full sun - the spot where my herbs grow and where I have spent some very precious dollars on real lilly pads and pond plants to keep the frogs and goldfish healthy.

I love the dogs - but I have a hard time liking them very much when they knock over my pineapple sage and crush my wormwood and smush the impatients to nearly nothing.

Damned dogs - I love them.

wow

What is it about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that is just so satisfying?

Even on double fiber whole grain bread -and with organic strawberry jelly - it just hits the spot. I made one this morning on a whim - and just wow.


Sorry - I talk about food all day - whole foods and carb counting and trans fats and portion control and glycemic index - the simple pleasure is often missed.