Funny how fractured we are. I was thinking about that this weekend -how we are one person, but there are so many parts. I have a couple friends who have more than one blog. I have two - and even my kids, who are addicted to MySpce, have more than one spot. Some of that is because they want to watch who reads what - and some is because the part of their lives which is friend, adult and parent doesn't jive with the part of thier lives that is lover and dark secrets.
I don't know that I think anything is wrong per se with having different places to vent and journal. It just astonishes me, though, how often I find myself writing what I really want to say in my "other site" and choking those words down in real life. It should be okay to say things in the spirit of love and truth and understanding. It should be okay to be who we really are - to express what we really think -- and know that someone loves us anyway. Why is it safe to write anonymously, and yet, unsafe to talk to the people who are supposed to be the closeset to you?
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
The wonders of Plantain
Part of Traditional Medicine used by the Native Americans is based on the belief the tthe Creator has placed everything we need to live a happy life here on earth for our use. Our responsibility is to find those things and learn how to use them.
Last weekend, Jake had a run in with a Cicada killer Wasp - and within 24 hours his leg was red and swollen and looked like we might have to make an ER trip.
Luckily for us, we have old remedies for stingers - so first I tried the old spit and tobacco as a poultice. Sounds gross - but let me tell you that it takes out the stinger and most of the poison if you get on the wrong end of a bee. Apparently, though, it wasn't strong enough to help with the wasp. added Benedryl - but still no luck.
Day two, though, the leg was still warm and red. I was worried about cellulitis and infection, but thought we might try something else to avoid spending $200 copay at the ER. I could see where the stinger had gone in, but couldn't get to it. So I went with plan B.
This is plantain - a common weed in most American yards - at least every one I have ever had.
When you pick it, chop up the leaves either by hand or in a chopper, you can use it as a poultice. The leaves have chemicals that help with inflammation. So I wrapped it in a bit of gauze, taped the bit ot his leg and we checked again Monday morning.The leg was no longer hot, the redness had ebbed back to about half the area, and the spot right next to the stinger had gotten purple. Three days later, you can hardly see the spot - it looks a lot better.
So there might be something to this - I have used herbs for years, though with the goats I am using them more and more - easier and more healthy than feeding them pills.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Jail and mental illness
I used to be of the opinion that things in life were black and white. If you did something wrong, and it was against the law, you needed to accept the consequences of your actions. Then I went to work at Wishard, in the Psych ICU, where people would come from the bus station - or the police station, and stay until they could think clearly again.
We had some repeat patients during the 5+ years I was there. Nice thing about psych, your patients may come back a little crazy, but rarely are they dying. It was a good job - and taught me the habit of trying to see how much of my own she!t was causing problems in my perception of others - and what they said. It is a good habit, though I may never perfect it.
I remember vividly many of my patients. There was the urge to hurry to get them out of the "goldfish jar" in the ER where psychotic people were held until we could get them admitted. I remember watching officials, who didn't know the difference between mental illness and disrespect, shove patients, leaving marks on their wrists from the handcuffs. I have never believed that the best place for treating mental illness was jail, though there are maximum security mental health hospitals that do a pretty good job.
I remember the woman who couldn't take her antipsychotic while pregnant and didn't remember even having her baby - I saw her the next day and she had no recollection of even being pregnant. There were a couple of young men who came to us: One was so very handsome, and had just finished his masters in Biochemistry at a prestigious university. He was 25 - and then he became psychotic one morning and tore up a mall downtown. His family was beyond shocked. It was a long time before the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder was something he could understand. The police eventually just had him do community service.
The other young man was not so lucky. He was in his thirties, worked as an engineer or an accountant, I can't remember exactly. He lived in an apartment complex, across the hall from his elderly father. One night, his schizophrenia showed itself, and he brutally murdered his father. That was his first indication there was something wrong - killing his father. He stayed with us for a long time, and when his mind cleared there was no more tortured man on the planet.
For many people who suffer from mental illness, there is the blessing of not remembering what happened when you were decompensated (crazy). I have to say I think this is a good system design, because in their right minds, these folks would be horrified to learn about how they had behaved, or what they had said. Some things are best left locked away in the subconscious.
I was thinking about this because I have been following the Andrea Yates case. Her husband spoke out today, saying he was very disappointed with the prosecutions handling of the case. No dispute about whether or not she did something wrong, but the push among prosecutors to prove that someone who is admittedly mentally ill did something psychotic just amazes me. When I followed this back in 2002, I kept wanting to send them a note - congratulating them for stating the obvious - people who are mentally ill and in the throes of their illness, do crazy things. I wonder why they think that putting a person with mental issues in a cage with a crack whore will help society. And here is the father of those sweet children, fighting for their mother - even though he has divorced her and started his life over with a new wife and stepkids. It seems that the victim's wishes are totally ignored - and if anyone had a right to ask for restitution, it would have been him.
We had some repeat patients during the 5+ years I was there. Nice thing about psych, your patients may come back a little crazy, but rarely are they dying. It was a good job - and taught me the habit of trying to see how much of my own she!t was causing problems in my perception of others - and what they said. It is a good habit, though I may never perfect it.
I remember vividly many of my patients. There was the urge to hurry to get them out of the "goldfish jar" in the ER where psychotic people were held until we could get them admitted. I remember watching officials, who didn't know the difference between mental illness and disrespect, shove patients, leaving marks on their wrists from the handcuffs. I have never believed that the best place for treating mental illness was jail, though there are maximum security mental health hospitals that do a pretty good job.
I remember the woman who couldn't take her antipsychotic while pregnant and didn't remember even having her baby - I saw her the next day and she had no recollection of even being pregnant. There were a couple of young men who came to us: One was so very handsome, and had just finished his masters in Biochemistry at a prestigious university. He was 25 - and then he became psychotic one morning and tore up a mall downtown. His family was beyond shocked. It was a long time before the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder was something he could understand. The police eventually just had him do community service.
The other young man was not so lucky. He was in his thirties, worked as an engineer or an accountant, I can't remember exactly. He lived in an apartment complex, across the hall from his elderly father. One night, his schizophrenia showed itself, and he brutally murdered his father. That was his first indication there was something wrong - killing his father. He stayed with us for a long time, and when his mind cleared there was no more tortured man on the planet.
For many people who suffer from mental illness, there is the blessing of not remembering what happened when you were decompensated (crazy). I have to say I think this is a good system design, because in their right minds, these folks would be horrified to learn about how they had behaved, or what they had said. Some things are best left locked away in the subconscious.
I was thinking about this because I have been following the Andrea Yates case. Her husband spoke out today, saying he was very disappointed with the prosecutions handling of the case. No dispute about whether or not she did something wrong, but the push among prosecutors to prove that someone who is admittedly mentally ill did something psychotic just amazes me. When I followed this back in 2002, I kept wanting to send them a note - congratulating them for stating the obvious - people who are mentally ill and in the throes of their illness, do crazy things. I wonder why they think that putting a person with mental issues in a cage with a crack whore will help society. And here is the father of those sweet children, fighting for their mother - even though he has divorced her and started his life over with a new wife and stepkids. It seems that the victim's wishes are totally ignored - and if anyone had a right to ask for restitution, it would have been him.
Do you see the weiner - it means they're boys
These pictures came in my e-mail yesterday. I beling to a ListServe for rescues in the state. They are listed as Australian shepherd crosses, two boys and a girl, slated for euthanasia this morning.
Well, of course you already know what I did - I drove up and adopted them. Meet Jack and Bruce - who is WAY cuter in person. They were accompanied by their "sister" who turned out to be a boy as well. Mickey is a amaller version of Bruce and can be faintly seen lying behind him in the picture.
They were so happy to be able to run about the yard - and did great with the girls. We had to bathe them when we got home, the smell was not a nice thing. They were curious about the chickens - and we'll have to stay on them to make sure they do alright, but they did great even when baby Birdie, who is only about 7 pounds now, came out in the yard with them. So glad we got to them before ... well, just before.
So I may have to do some figuring and see if there are other options for our pups. We may have to get that official rescue license so that we can start getting them adopted out. Even with the four year plan to find more land, I think we may be bursting at the seams - but I just couldn't say no.
I think Addendum is my new favorite word... so here is an addendum. I thought, at first glance that they were Aussie pups - but I did a search and found that even Border Collies (which Bruce and Mickey so clearly are) can be Merled - so I think they are border collie mixes. We'll see - and we'll hopefully get pictures over the weekend.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Baby addendum
Our girl Baby has now officially been renamed. I call half the living creatures in our house baby, or honey - so an actual name of Baby was just too confusing.
We are calling her Betty - yep, you're right, after her! I'm not sure whether fushia highlights will follow - but you just never know at our place.
We are calling her Betty - yep, you're right, after her! I'm not sure whether fushia highlights will follow - but you just never know at our place.
Make mine Mocha, please
You may recall that a couple of weeks ago, we took in Baby Mocha, a newborn lamb, for her first night, when we thought maybe her momma wasn't able to nurse her well enough. Of course, you may actually have a life outside my backyard, so you may not remember that at all.Well, I am just smitten by this baby. She has deep blue eyes and the softest downy fur on her forelegs. But it is the temperment that surprised me - I pick her up, she just holds still - what a beauty. No wonder Mary had a little lamb.
Earlier in the week, my friend Amber realized that even if she kept baby Mocha, she also had her father, so she wouldn't be able to be bred. This is good news for me - I didn't want to breed her anyway - I just like her - and since she is a sheep, she would actually EAT the grass in the yard. So now I am on a quest to find another ewe so that when Miss Mocha is done nursing, I will provide Amber with another unrelated ewe, and Mocha can come to my house. We went out to see her last evening - and in the process dropped off Misty - a duck who had hurt her foot and was getting rehab. I had to lance the foot - the duck HATES me - with a passion rarely seen in ducks. I was happy this morning not to be hissed at as though I were the Devil himself.
Ever since we started talking about the 4-year plan, to find a ranch and move back out to the Four Corners area and the Big Reservation, I can't seem to get enough of Tony Hillerman books. If you have any left overs you want to send my way - just ship 'em on over.
I apologize for the lack of current pictures - I just haven't gotten around to fixing the USB cable! Have a great Wednesday!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
For a good time call....
I'm not sure about you all, but apparently I equate a good time with using the tool box. Now I know this must be some sort of Psychosis, but I am not sure what medication will diminish this urge.
I came home from work after putting in overtime, again, and took a look at that sink. Luckily, the internet has a WEALTH of information about how to put together the drain for a kitchen sink - so I printed it off, bought PVC glue and plumbers putty, and headed home. As a side note, I stopped at a local hardware store and was amazed that I actually had a better idea of what I needed for the repair than the kid helping me. Why is it that people don't use a reference - or a tool checklist in the hardware store so you can provide good service? I bought a couple of home repair books with pictures on Amazon for about 7 dollars - one would think the hardware store could afford that investment.
Unfortunately the new water lines to the dishwasher had giggled loose - so I was greeted by water on the kitchen floor. Nice.
I took the whole assembly off, detaching the coat hanger that had been used to prop it up. I glued the rings back on, put on teflon tape on the grooves and tried to peel off the places where some COMPLETE IDIOT who lived there before us had put window caulk on the edges of the pipes to make them waterproof. Mind you, it was not even waterproof caulk, and the pipes were not touching let alone connected in several places. Brilliant. And the smell from the drain, I could have lived a LONG time without that.
Anyway after that project - and satisfactorily running water through the now glued together pipes, I decided the sky was way to gray and threatening to build the pig pen - sorry Yoshi it'll have to wait another day. I headed off to the office/spare room. We have an old chest of drawers that used to be in my room as a baby - then my brother's room growing up. I moved it from the boy's room and into the spare room so that we could store linens. This house is lovely, but the storage space leaves something to be desired - so I packed the chest with linens and pillow cases and a couple of those great fleece blankets that are designed for cold nights in Indiana.
After those projects, I should have been tired - but instead, I kissed the hubby hello - after he worked yet another night until almost 7 - and headed off to get Jake's football physical done.
Let me just say, that being consistantly in the top echelons of state football, has done wonders for this program. Even at the 6th grade level, there are phone bulletins, emails and a website to keep you abreast of changing times and what to do when. I love that. We stood in line with about 300 other families to get the physicals done - but the whole thing took about 20 minutes once we got up to the stations. Very slick. Kids were running in place and getting vitals and having their hearts checked at one end and trying on cleats and game pants in another. One stop shopping that was a great improvement over last years running around to ten different places. It is always weird talking to the docs about his epilepsy - or brain surgery. They look at me funny when I present him to play - but he has done so well physically, that I don't want to deny him the chance to play - and a chance to really live.
It was a busy night - but oddly satisfying because we got so much done - oh yea, and the chicken fried chicken breasts and smashed potatoes for dinner certainly didn't hurt.
I came home from work after putting in overtime, again, and took a look at that sink. Luckily, the internet has a WEALTH of information about how to put together the drain for a kitchen sink - so I printed it off, bought PVC glue and plumbers putty, and headed home. As a side note, I stopped at a local hardware store and was amazed that I actually had a better idea of what I needed for the repair than the kid helping me. Why is it that people don't use a reference - or a tool checklist in the hardware store so you can provide good service? I bought a couple of home repair books with pictures on Amazon for about 7 dollars - one would think the hardware store could afford that investment.
Unfortunately the new water lines to the dishwasher had giggled loose - so I was greeted by water on the kitchen floor. Nice.
I took the whole assembly off, detaching the coat hanger that had been used to prop it up. I glued the rings back on, put on teflon tape on the grooves and tried to peel off the places where some COMPLETE IDIOT who lived there before us had put window caulk on the edges of the pipes to make them waterproof. Mind you, it was not even waterproof caulk, and the pipes were not touching let alone connected in several places. Brilliant. And the smell from the drain, I could have lived a LONG time without that.
Anyway after that project - and satisfactorily running water through the now glued together pipes, I decided the sky was way to gray and threatening to build the pig pen - sorry Yoshi it'll have to wait another day. I headed off to the office/spare room. We have an old chest of drawers that used to be in my room as a baby - then my brother's room growing up. I moved it from the boy's room and into the spare room so that we could store linens. This house is lovely, but the storage space leaves something to be desired - so I packed the chest with linens and pillow cases and a couple of those great fleece blankets that are designed for cold nights in Indiana.
After those projects, I should have been tired - but instead, I kissed the hubby hello - after he worked yet another night until almost 7 - and headed off to get Jake's football physical done.
Let me just say, that being consistantly in the top echelons of state football, has done wonders for this program. Even at the 6th grade level, there are phone bulletins, emails and a website to keep you abreast of changing times and what to do when. I love that. We stood in line with about 300 other families to get the physicals done - but the whole thing took about 20 minutes once we got up to the stations. Very slick. Kids were running in place and getting vitals and having their hearts checked at one end and trying on cleats and game pants in another. One stop shopping that was a great improvement over last years running around to ten different places. It is always weird talking to the docs about his epilepsy - or brain surgery. They look at me funny when I present him to play - but he has done so well physically, that I don't want to deny him the chance to play - and a chance to really live.
It was a busy night - but oddly satisfying because we got so much done - oh yea, and the chicken fried chicken breasts and smashed potatoes for dinner certainly didn't hurt.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Hallelujia!!!
Yesterday, our dear friend MIke came over and installed a dishwasher - so for the first time on about 18 months, I don't have to wash all the dishes by hand -and I can reclaim one hwol counter that is usually taken up by drying dishes.
And in other news, we discovered that the schmuck who did the plumbing under the kitchen sink used window caulk and some jerry-rigged system involving a coat hanger to put the pipes together. The whole drainage system from the sink has been dripping. So I have that going for me.
Until tonight when I have to put them together correctly with plumbers putty and PVC paste.
And in other news, we discovered that the schmuck who did the plumbing under the kitchen sink used window caulk and some jerry-rigged system involving a coat hanger to put the pipes together. The whole drainage system from the sink has been dripping. So I have that going for me.
Until tonight when I have to put them together correctly with plumbers putty and PVC paste.
Friday, July 21, 2006
FAIR FIGHTING RULES
I have this reminder for myself - because sometimes when you are angry, it is easy to forget the rules.
No Name Calling.
No violence.
No fighting for longer than 15 minutes. If discussion lasts for longer then 15 minutes, it is not going to be resolved. Reschedule for another day and time.
Don't say never, always or you.
Say I feel, I need, I want, when I hear you say...I think or feel..
Don't go to bed angry.
Don't just say "I'm sorry"; include "please forgive me".
Use percentages to express how much each person wants to go to different activities, movies; for example, "I want to got to Taco Bell 10%" means it really doesn't matter. "I want to go 90%" means it matters a lot to you. (You need to be honest...don't say I want... 100% all the time).
Do not argue when hungry, angry, tired, or late at night.
Discuss only one topic at a time. It is not helpful to bring up old problems at the sametime as discussing new problems.
Talk about how you feel hurt and why; anger is a secondary emotion.
Each partner needs to take no more than 50% of the responsibility for the communciation problem. A relationship is a mutal agreement between 2 people and it does not come easily, it takes practice, work, and time.
No Name Calling.
No violence.
No fighting for longer than 15 minutes. If discussion lasts for longer then 15 minutes, it is not going to be resolved. Reschedule for another day and time.
Don't say never, always or you.
Say I feel, I need, I want, when I hear you say...I think or feel..
Don't go to bed angry.
Don't just say "I'm sorry"; include "please forgive me".
Use percentages to express how much each person wants to go to different activities, movies; for example, "I want to got to Taco Bell 10%" means it really doesn't matter. "I want to go 90%" means it matters a lot to you. (You need to be honest...don't say I want... 100% all the time).
Do not argue when hungry, angry, tired, or late at night.
Discuss only one topic at a time. It is not helpful to bring up old problems at the sametime as discussing new problems.
Talk about how you feel hurt and why; anger is a secondary emotion.
Each partner needs to take no more than 50% of the responsibility for the communciation problem. A relationship is a mutal agreement between 2 people and it does not come easily, it takes practice, work, and time.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Happy Birthday Bear!
If you get a minute - swing by and wish my girl, Bear, a happy birthday. She's 19 today - and in three more weeks, she is off to college! Things are so exciting for her!
I'll post more later - but now I am off to work!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Baby Face
This is a picture of our new girl, currently named Baby. She is a tricolor Aussie - maybe a cross - but who cares. She was adopted by a college student, from her neighbor who did not take very good care of her - she was chained by her first owners.
So today, she starts over at the Ridge, with Maggie, and Matilda, and Lucy and Sheila - and a number of goats who think they are dogs. And life is good.
Roosters included for warmth
You may remember that back in March we got a shipment of Indian Runner ducklings - and the consciencious poultry company also sent along 9 roosters for warmth.
Well, three of those little guys decided they could swim - and then there were 6.
One of the roosters turned out to be a beautiful hen, a Wyandotte with beautiful feathers ( pictured above) .
The other five roosters are now teenagers. And their initial promise, to keep the duckling girls warm has taken on, well a whole other meaning.
The grown hens we have outweigh these boys by a couple of pounds - which is a lot when you only weight 6 pounds. They have been able to seduce the little cochin hens, who are only about a pound or two. The cochins are setting eggs, indicating that they think there are babies in those eggs, so I think the Wyandotte charm has worked.
But the real drama, is their interest in the ducks. See, when a hen defends herself, she has claws and a pretty sharp beak. Anyone who watched Pokemon, knows that the scratch attack isn't much to fear from a duck.
So those teenage rooster hormones are resulting in my ducks being.... well, worn out. I can picture them saying - I don't like this kind of warmth, I don't like this kind of warmth.
The plan is to move three of the roosters to a friends house - where they will be paired off. Cogburn and Leghorn, will have to stay, and that should even out the numbers a bit.
But the roosters included for warmth, aren't all they are quacked up to be.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Only you can prevent forest fires - Hire a Goat
Towns in California, trying to economically clean up the undergrowth in the forests around their cities have hired goats.
I am TOTALLY serious - here is the story
I am TOTALLY serious - here is the story
Sunday, July 16, 2006
It's all about the money.... and that it tragic
I have a great daughter. I am astounded by her strength - and that she developed into such a wonderful kid despite my lack of parenting skills. I had her just a month after I had turned 21, during my junior year of college, and after getting married to her father, who wasn't sure he ever wanted to get married again - let alone have any other kids. I didn't force him, I offered to go live with my folks and raise her alone, he insisted we get married and try to make it work. That being said, he has behaved, ever since, as though the whole thing was my fault, and as though he should be excused from parenting duties since he didn't plan the pregnancy.
Her father decided that when we divorced, he didn't want to do weekends, saying it wasn't fair to her. He was obligated to pay $32 a week in support - even in 1988, this was a very reasonable amount. He then proceeded to drop out of her life entirely, except for a visit of a couple hours when I asked him to come see her, nearly 10 years ago. I have kept in loose contact with his family - they have had my number - and were told they could pass it on. He never asked.
Frankly, this pisses me off. I have always thought it was because he wasn't paying support, and he thought that if he came up for air, he would get caught and they would make him pay back support.
Thursday evening, I got a call from his mother - who lives near him and has been trying to help him get his stuff together. I like her, we have always gotten along, but her job is to protect her son as much as it is to be a part of Bear's life.
Well, it seems he is planning to refinance his home, and could, in the process, roll in the outstanding debt of over $30,000 to pay this off. She wanted to know, if I got a lump payment, would I be willing to take less money.
I told her that Bear deserved either the money or a father. If he was willing to step up and become a part of her life - I would take half. To accomplish this, I expected a phone call, a card, some acknowledgement of his daughter. Her birthday is Thursday, and if we haven't heard something - I will assume his choice is made.
She argued that it was a lump sum, and I might never see any money otherwise. See, I am already out the money -she is 19 now, I don't need it to buy diapers anymore. Well, that isn't exactly correct, seeing as the prosecutor in Orlando knows who he is now, he would have to give up his business to go back ot hiding his assets again. At the moment, he is vulnerable, and he should know that.
Right now, I get $32 a week - which the prosecutors withhold from his paycheck. I haven't formally asked for the amount to be raised in 18 YEARS. I don't get any back support, at all. My daughter is starting college, and that will increase her expenses - so I have every right, as the prosecutors office reminds me every year - to increase my support amount and ask for them to make him pay arrears.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - and when you scorn her children as well, it just isn't a good thing.
Her father decided that when we divorced, he didn't want to do weekends, saying it wasn't fair to her. He was obligated to pay $32 a week in support - even in 1988, this was a very reasonable amount. He then proceeded to drop out of her life entirely, except for a visit of a couple hours when I asked him to come see her, nearly 10 years ago. I have kept in loose contact with his family - they have had my number - and were told they could pass it on. He never asked.
Frankly, this pisses me off. I have always thought it was because he wasn't paying support, and he thought that if he came up for air, he would get caught and they would make him pay back support.
Thursday evening, I got a call from his mother - who lives near him and has been trying to help him get his stuff together. I like her, we have always gotten along, but her job is to protect her son as much as it is to be a part of Bear's life.
Well, it seems he is planning to refinance his home, and could, in the process, roll in the outstanding debt of over $30,000 to pay this off. She wanted to know, if I got a lump payment, would I be willing to take less money.
I told her that Bear deserved either the money or a father. If he was willing to step up and become a part of her life - I would take half. To accomplish this, I expected a phone call, a card, some acknowledgement of his daughter. Her birthday is Thursday, and if we haven't heard something - I will assume his choice is made.
She argued that it was a lump sum, and I might never see any money otherwise. See, I am already out the money -she is 19 now, I don't need it to buy diapers anymore. Well, that isn't exactly correct, seeing as the prosecutor in Orlando knows who he is now, he would have to give up his business to go back ot hiding his assets again. At the moment, he is vulnerable, and he should know that.
Right now, I get $32 a week - which the prosecutors withhold from his paycheck. I haven't formally asked for the amount to be raised in 18 YEARS. I don't get any back support, at all. My daughter is starting college, and that will increase her expenses - so I have every right, as the prosecutors office reminds me every year - to increase my support amount and ask for them to make him pay arrears.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - and when you scorn her children as well, it just isn't a good thing.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Workin' for the weekend
I am so EXCITED about this weekend I can hardly stand it!
On Friday, as soon as I can escape from work I am driving up to see Berk! It is funny how you become friends with someone you have never met through this blogging. I can hardly wait. We'll take some pictures.
Then Saturday, I am going up to see my folks. Dad got a reprieve and won't do chemo again until next weekend, so I will actually get to see him at home. I made cookies and I'm bringing a stash of stuff from Whole Foods - so hopefully it will give my mom a little rest.
There is the distinct possibility that our friend who had the baby lamb will come over on Saturday and help Justin install my dishwasher. I make nearly everything from scratch - I need a dishwasher - and it isn't very effective in the carport.
Sunday - I head to Indy to get Jake. He has been at his dad's for almost a month, now. It is great for him to spend time with his other family - but I sure do miss him. He called yesterday ans said how much he missed me and wanted to come home. Man, I love that.
And in 7 days - Bear will be 19 - and three weeks after that - she will move away to college and I will only have two kids at home - something that has not happened since 1994. That is astonishing.
On Friday, as soon as I can escape from work I am driving up to see Berk! It is funny how you become friends with someone you have never met through this blogging. I can hardly wait. We'll take some pictures.
Then Saturday, I am going up to see my folks. Dad got a reprieve and won't do chemo again until next weekend, so I will actually get to see him at home. I made cookies and I'm bringing a stash of stuff from Whole Foods - so hopefully it will give my mom a little rest.
There is the distinct possibility that our friend who had the baby lamb will come over on Saturday and help Justin install my dishwasher. I make nearly everything from scratch - I need a dishwasher - and it isn't very effective in the carport.
Sunday - I head to Indy to get Jake. He has been at his dad's for almost a month, now. It is great for him to spend time with his other family - but I sure do miss him. He called yesterday ans said how much he missed me and wanted to come home. Man, I love that.
And in 7 days - Bear will be 19 - and three weeks after that - she will move away to college and I will only have two kids at home - something that has not happened since 1994. That is astonishing.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
What are friends for?
Over the weekend we took feed duty from our friend's farm which is about half an hour away. They watched our animals when we went up to Indiana several weeks ago - so we returned the favor. On Saturday things went smoothly - even feeding the horses, something I haven't done in ages. Then as we were taking a final survey, we noticed one of the ducks limping. We loaded her up - and after almost an hour of minor surgery in my kitchen, we removed a large piece of bamboo from her little webbed foot. She has repayed my medical treatment by hissing at me every time I ocme near her - and she is not too thrilled about the cage either.
On Sunday, we arrived to a peeping sound - one of the hens had 5 baby chicks. We rounded them us, since the last batch go eaten by snakes living in the aforementioned bamboo. They were happy to hear about the new babies and we agreed to keep them until they get big enough to go in the yard. We had to take Smeagol outside and put him in a seperate cage. He has a nasty case of tapeworms - and I am using an herbal treatment with honey and garlic and castor oil to help him get healthy. He is way too thin - and too young to treat safely with the wormers I have - and I'd prefer a healthier gut for him anyway. Today he looked much better - but he is a little miffed about being kept away from the other kittens. Oh yea, and I think they would tease him anyway - he REALLY smells like garlic.
Monday morning my friend called - her sheep had given birth in the wee hours to a little lamb. Sanka is the dad, Serta is the mom and the baby Mocha had a little white face and coffee colored wool. I told my friend at work - who asked when we woudl be takign a baby sheep. I laughed this off, mostly because I don't know all that much about sheep to start with.
At 4 she called back. The baby wasn't nursing well -and I offered my renowned bottle baby services. Mocha did great overnight - just needed a little boost and some electrolytes - and now she is back on her way home - to her momma who has milk already and doesn't have to fix a bottle every two hours.
There is never a dull moment - things happen and sometimes those things are sad - but for the most part, it is a good life.
On Sunday, we arrived to a peeping sound - one of the hens had 5 baby chicks. We rounded them us, since the last batch go eaten by snakes living in the aforementioned bamboo. They were happy to hear about the new babies and we agreed to keep them until they get big enough to go in the yard. We had to take Smeagol outside and put him in a seperate cage. He has a nasty case of tapeworms - and I am using an herbal treatment with honey and garlic and castor oil to help him get healthy. He is way too thin - and too young to treat safely with the wormers I have - and I'd prefer a healthier gut for him anyway. Today he looked much better - but he is a little miffed about being kept away from the other kittens. Oh yea, and I think they would tease him anyway - he REALLY smells like garlic.
Monday morning my friend called - her sheep had given birth in the wee hours to a little lamb. Sanka is the dad, Serta is the mom and the baby Mocha had a little white face and coffee colored wool. I told my friend at work - who asked when we woudl be takign a baby sheep. I laughed this off, mostly because I don't know all that much about sheep to start with.
At 4 she called back. The baby wasn't nursing well -and I offered my renowned bottle baby services. Mocha did great overnight - just needed a little boost and some electrolytes - and now she is back on her way home - to her momma who has milk already and doesn't have to fix a bottle every two hours.
There is never a dull moment - things happen and sometimes those things are sad - but for the most part, it is a good life.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Birthday Breakfast
If your mother teaches nutrition and healthy lifestyle management for a living, grows her own herbs and vegetables ( kind of) , buys organic when possible and rarely gets anything other than Kool-Aid that has artificial color or flavors - and your grandparents sold Shaklee supplements and still bake their own bread - and you could have anything you wanted for your birthday breakfast what would you choose?
Corned Beef Hash ( out of a can)
Toaster Strudels
Froot Loops ( with the Pirates of the Caribean toy)
Cocoa Puffs
Tater tots
Ho Hos
I added in the low salt, no sugar organic bacon - and eggs and fruit - which they didn't touch.
Corned Beef Hash ( out of a can)
Toaster Strudels
Froot Loops ( with the Pirates of the Caribean toy)
Cocoa Puffs
Tater tots
Ho Hos
I added in the low salt, no sugar organic bacon - and eggs and fruit - which they didn't touch.
Scooch in already!
You know what drives me nuts - the total lack of manners shown by people in large groups. I see this at church - when there are tons of seats in the middle of the row - and no one scoots in so that the people standing in the back can sit down. Now I can see if you have a bathroom-related problem and you have to be on the end - but seriously, a room that holds 500 people isn't going to have a lot of difference in the view. Just sayin.
Then, on Saturday, we took Josh and his buddies to see that Pirate movie - it was sold out but we had bought our tickets ahead of time.I didn't expect that we would be able to sit together since we had gotten there only 10 minutes before the show - but there were lots of single seats open. I asked four different sets of people if they could scoot over so that we could have two seats together - they looked at me like I had asked them to give the their right arm. And then DID NOT MOVE. Can you even believe that? What is it with people and their total lack of consideration for others? I cannot imagine ignoring someones request to scoot down - we have done that before without even being asked - people need a place to sit when they are going to be somewhere for a couple of hours. How could all those people NOT know that is the appropriate way to act - to move down and make room. Shame on the theater managament as well, for selling out the show and not having someone come in to encourage folks to scoot down and make room. What a bad way, we as a country, have chosen to treat one another.
Then, on Saturday, we took Josh and his buddies to see that Pirate movie - it was sold out but we had bought our tickets ahead of time.I didn't expect that we would be able to sit together since we had gotten there only 10 minutes before the show - but there were lots of single seats open. I asked four different sets of people if they could scoot over so that we could have two seats together - they looked at me like I had asked them to give the their right arm. And then DID NOT MOVE. Can you even believe that? What is it with people and their total lack of consideration for others? I cannot imagine ignoring someones request to scoot down - we have done that before without even being asked - people need a place to sit when they are going to be somewhere for a couple of hours. How could all those people NOT know that is the appropriate way to act - to move down and make room. Shame on the theater managament as well, for selling out the show and not having someone come in to encourage folks to scoot down and make room. What a bad way, we as a country, have chosen to treat one another.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
The answer to WHY
Over the past 9 months, my husband has been without a job - not without income, as he got unemployment, worked for his dad, and cashed out his retirement to take care of his financial responsibilities. He is back to working, but during that time, there were some folks who are supposed to be family friends who kept asking me how long I was going to let him mooch off of me.
I am not sure what planet these folks were on when I moved myself, my three kids and two dogs in with Justin on about 48 hours notice in September of '04. We were homeless and he paid the hotel bill for the first week - then let us move in with him. Just handed me the keys. He watched over the kids, checking on them at night when they would wake up from nightmares. He watched over them when I went back to Indiana to pack more things. He bought everything we needed over and above the money I had left - and handed me his credit card - a leap of faith of gargantuan proportions.
The truth of the matter is that shit happens. Not very poetic, but honest. People fall, they struggle, they make mistakes, they sleep with people they shouldn't, they tell little white lies, they get sick, they get downsized, they get depressed. It is these faults that make us human. What kind of a committment would my marriage vows be if I was ready to get rid of my husband - who has gone above and beyond to try to heal up wounds he didn't cause - over something like money.
It is only money, we'll make more. Think about that - it's true. And when I draw my last breath, it will be someone else's money. Why freak out about it? I've had children since I was twenty - can't remember a time before now that I was married to someone who contributed as much financially to the kids - and the household as he has been willing to do.
I am thankful that we had enough money to pay our bills - thankful that we stayed married - that we are able to love each other in spite of our faults. And I have a laundry list of them - not the least of which is a mouth that doesn't always know when to stop. He loves me, loves my kids - doesn't just tolerate them - he loves them - he worries about them - he wants to protect them. Men like that are rare indeed - I know from experience. I hope that my children have gotten to see how to handle crisis well - how to be supportive - and how to really love someone. Things they haven't seen as often as I would like growing up.
So the answer is twofold.
1. When you promise forever, a person should mean it and do everything in their power to be true to their word. Getting rid of a husband is WAY different than breaking up with a boyfriend, at least in my experience.
2. There was a day when I was stuck - as were the kids - and had no job - and no where to go - and he took us in. Some of that was my own damn fault. What kind of person would then turn around and be miffed about affording him the same courtesy?
I am not sure what planet these folks were on when I moved myself, my three kids and two dogs in with Justin on about 48 hours notice in September of '04. We were homeless and he paid the hotel bill for the first week - then let us move in with him. Just handed me the keys. He watched over the kids, checking on them at night when they would wake up from nightmares. He watched over them when I went back to Indiana to pack more things. He bought everything we needed over and above the money I had left - and handed me his credit card - a leap of faith of gargantuan proportions.
The truth of the matter is that shit happens. Not very poetic, but honest. People fall, they struggle, they make mistakes, they sleep with people they shouldn't, they tell little white lies, they get sick, they get downsized, they get depressed. It is these faults that make us human. What kind of a committment would my marriage vows be if I was ready to get rid of my husband - who has gone above and beyond to try to heal up wounds he didn't cause - over something like money.
It is only money, we'll make more. Think about that - it's true. And when I draw my last breath, it will be someone else's money. Why freak out about it? I've had children since I was twenty - can't remember a time before now that I was married to someone who contributed as much financially to the kids - and the household as he has been willing to do.
I am thankful that we had enough money to pay our bills - thankful that we stayed married - that we are able to love each other in spite of our faults. And I have a laundry list of them - not the least of which is a mouth that doesn't always know when to stop. He loves me, loves my kids - doesn't just tolerate them - he loves them - he worries about them - he wants to protect them. Men like that are rare indeed - I know from experience. I hope that my children have gotten to see how to handle crisis well - how to be supportive - and how to really love someone. Things they haven't seen as often as I would like growing up.
So the answer is twofold.
1. When you promise forever, a person should mean it and do everything in their power to be true to their word. Getting rid of a husband is WAY different than breaking up with a boyfriend, at least in my experience.
2. There was a day when I was stuck - as were the kids - and had no job - and no where to go - and he took us in. Some of that was my own damn fault. What kind of person would then turn around and be miffed about affording him the same courtesy?
Rule Number One: pay attention
I stole this link from SHHHH, but I wanted to share. I have been a bit of a grouch lately, I can feel it, even if my family assures me that I am fine. I have found myself NAGGING even though I know better. More bees to honey - absolutely works. Anyway - I read this article and it reminded me of some things we do right at our house. How Shamu saved my marriage.
Enjoy and here's hoping you find a nice cool spot to relax in today.
Enjoy and here's hoping you find a nice cool spot to relax in today.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
wandering thoughts
Whose idea was it that for the 4th of July there would be four nights in a row of fireworks until well after 11. I am still a little overreactive to the gunshot sound - so I have not slept well for four nights. Guess how pretty that makes me today at work - there isn't enough make up to hide lack of sleep.
And how weird is it that a nation afraid of terrorists would have all this firing and popping going on for days? How the heck would you hear the difference between a real explosion and a firework - doesn't seem very vigilant to me.
Why is it that the garden boxes I built were just awash with sun in the early part of spring - and are now only getting about 4 hours of sun. I looked at pictures of a friend's garden in CANADA - and her plants are three times the size of mine. poop.
Have you ever noticed that planning a dream can make you feel better? We have been talking about what we might do as a family when Josh graduates in four years, and just talking about it makes me happy.
The talk radio station yesterday played song dedications from soldiers who were overseas. It was heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. There was a soldier with a deep voice who talked about being third in a convoy which was blown up. He had some big injuries. He asked the DJ to play "wind beneath my wings" by Beth Midler (sp - his words) for his momma. I cried when Justin told me - and said I hope my boys are that way. And he reminded me that they are on track to be that kind of man. And I am so pleased.
Amber presented us with a kitten on Monday night. She rescued him - kind of - from a place that she also had to call animal control to rescue the rest of the animals. He is only about four weeks old but every rib was showing and you could see his spine through his fur. He couldn't stand up and when he opened his mouth to meow, nothign came out. He didn't look like he would make it - being at the very least flea infested and wormy - and probably dehydrated. So I milked Nosey - and gave it to the little guy. Two days, dewormer, kitten chow, goat milk, flea spray and a lot of water later - he looks much better. And he has learned to be a bit more vocal from Smokey, our other little guy who is now 7 weeks old. I wanted to call him Tigger, in honor of my kitty Tigger growing up - but he is still a bit on the malnourished and homely side - so the boys have taken to calling him Smiegel.
Coffee is a beautiful thing. I think when God came up with that - He was showing off. Thank You.
And how weird is it that a nation afraid of terrorists would have all this firing and popping going on for days? How the heck would you hear the difference between a real explosion and a firework - doesn't seem very vigilant to me.
Why is it that the garden boxes I built were just awash with sun in the early part of spring - and are now only getting about 4 hours of sun. I looked at pictures of a friend's garden in CANADA - and her plants are three times the size of mine. poop.
Have you ever noticed that planning a dream can make you feel better? We have been talking about what we might do as a family when Josh graduates in four years, and just talking about it makes me happy.
The talk radio station yesterday played song dedications from soldiers who were overseas. It was heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. There was a soldier with a deep voice who talked about being third in a convoy which was blown up. He had some big injuries. He asked the DJ to play "wind beneath my wings" by Beth Midler (sp - his words) for his momma. I cried when Justin told me - and said I hope my boys are that way. And he reminded me that they are on track to be that kind of man. And I am so pleased.
Amber presented us with a kitten on Monday night. She rescued him - kind of - from a place that she also had to call animal control to rescue the rest of the animals. He is only about four weeks old but every rib was showing and you could see his spine through his fur. He couldn't stand up and when he opened his mouth to meow, nothign came out. He didn't look like he would make it - being at the very least flea infested and wormy - and probably dehydrated. So I milked Nosey - and gave it to the little guy. Two days, dewormer, kitten chow, goat milk, flea spray and a lot of water later - he looks much better. And he has learned to be a bit more vocal from Smokey, our other little guy who is now 7 weeks old. I wanted to call him Tigger, in honor of my kitty Tigger growing up - but he is still a bit on the malnourished and homely side - so the boys have taken to calling him Smiegel.
Coffee is a beautiful thing. I think when God came up with that - He was showing off. Thank You.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Thanksgiving for July 4th
It has been almost 7 years now, since I took THE JOB in Tsaile Arizona. It had been a difficult couple of years, a marriage that didn't work out, a baby who had brain surgery - and a continuously empty wallet. I had a couple of close girlfirends - but they were both at the beginning of new relationships -and that changes the landscape of a friendship. I didn't feel very strong - but I knew I had to do something.
So I took a chance - trusted my Fate to God, who hadn't let me down yet - and sent out resumes to all the IHS recruiters. Two came back, Phoenix and Chinle Arizona. THis was disappointing because I had my heart set on Minnesota or Montana - some place northern. I packed up three kids - only one of whom gets any kind of support - and moved away to start an adventure. Funny thing about an adventure - if it doesn't work out, you can always come home - or try something else. That is what life is all about - try something - then try something else.
I was thinking of a friend today - and how sometimes we think it is bravery that is required to dream bigger - and allow ourselves to be happy. It isn't bravery at all. It is the knowledge that your life is not yet all that it could be - that you can love deeper and feel stronger and change things if your life looked different. The first step is the hardest - trusting your instincts and abilities. Lots of people told me I was crazy, but I am so glad I didn't let their opinions influence me - it was the best choice I have ever made.
So in the heat today - I was remembering my friends from there: Steph and Barb and Helen and Beulah, and Dr Organick and Larry - and of course Ernie and Marilyn and Shirley. I miss it so very much - and on days like today, where the sun is hot and the work is slow, I think of you all, and I am thankful.
So I took a chance - trusted my Fate to God, who hadn't let me down yet - and sent out resumes to all the IHS recruiters. Two came back, Phoenix and Chinle Arizona. THis was disappointing because I had my heart set on Minnesota or Montana - some place northern. I packed up three kids - only one of whom gets any kind of support - and moved away to start an adventure. Funny thing about an adventure - if it doesn't work out, you can always come home - or try something else. That is what life is all about - try something - then try something else.
I was thinking of a friend today - and how sometimes we think it is bravery that is required to dream bigger - and allow ourselves to be happy. It isn't bravery at all. It is the knowledge that your life is not yet all that it could be - that you can love deeper and feel stronger and change things if your life looked different. The first step is the hardest - trusting your instincts and abilities. Lots of people told me I was crazy, but I am so glad I didn't let their opinions influence me - it was the best choice I have ever made.
So in the heat today - I was remembering my friends from there: Steph and Barb and Helen and Beulah, and Dr Organick and Larry - and of course Ernie and Marilyn and Shirley. I miss it so very much - and on days like today, where the sun is hot and the work is slow, I think of you all, and I am thankful.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Loner story - The Supermarket
compliments of my mom
The new supermarket near our house has an automatic mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackling.
So far I have been too afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle!
The new supermarket near our house has an automatic mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackling.
So far I have been too afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle!
Pictures for the holidays
My dad went through chemo again this weekend - had to stay at the hospital for three days, but they did feed him Prime Rib.
Ian is back in Australia, so he uploaded some pictures from our adventure. I will share three of those with you,Justin and me, Jake and Josh - and then a little wishful thinking, the view from atop Lukachukai mountains at Buffalo Pass....
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