Shep

I have an old friend - well I still use the term, though we have certianly drifted apart and it has been nearly five years since I have spoken to him - and this old friend has always loved New Orleans. Even though he lives in Chicago, he was a frequent visitor to Mardi Gras and eventually bought an apartment there. I looked him up last year and he had married the girl he had dated forever - I didn't feel right about calling, but was happy for him just the same.

This morning's paper was covered with pictures of New Orleans and the massive destruction that has befallen the folks there. The stories are horribly sad -and it made me think about him. His heart must just be breaking.

How often do we have someone in our lives that affects us, changes us, and yet we never get to tell them as much. He introduced me to Bob Marley - whenever I listen to the Legends CD I think fondly of him. He didn't ask me to the senior prom - even though I was sure he would, teaching me some needed humility. He promised to show up - then didn't - then showed up when I really needed a friend. We had 3am conversations when we were both lonely and couldn't sleep. He never comes to our class reunion - though he is still topic of conversation and those stories make me laugh.

We've both grown - both found happiness and someone who loves us - and today as my prayers go up for all those folks in New Orleans, I'll include a prayer of thanksgiving for having Shep as my friend.

Enough

This weekend the hubby rented "Enough" for me - with Jennifer Lopez. Parts of it were hauntingly familiar - especially the discussion about men and their needs and how the abuser can see fit to have affairs indiscriminately and the wife is supposed to just take it in stride. I'll never forget the conversation with the Ogre - after I found out that he had filed for divorce, he came to me and said he'd be willing to continue to date me - but that we just shouldn't be married because he wanted to continue to see the other women he as already seeing. Oh yea, there is some seriously messed up logic there.

The other interesting thing about the movie was that it offered me another perspective - the Ogre has not come looking for us to the best of my knowledge. After I told him I had remarried in April - the e-mails and phone messages stopped. Perhaps I have finally been deemed as tainted and he no longer wants us. I hope with all of my heart that is true. We have a no contact order - so I can't exactly call and ask him.

I decided that there was some merit to the idea of turning the tables a bit - though probably not to the same extreme that Jennifer Lopez had to in the movie - I think I need to find out what is going on with him - if he has started over a new life. I had asked a friend to make some phone calls - but since I haven't heard back - I can only assume I will need to try some other friends for information. I have decided to figure out how much of a threat still exists - want to try to make some decisions about preparedness and precautions. I have been irritated all along by well-meaning folks who are sure that he has gotten on with his life - but these people didn't live with him - and listen to him recount wrongs done ( real and imagined) by former wives - things that were done ages ago and he held onto that anger and hurt and always was looking for a way to strike back. I think these same opinions are based on rational thought - and he doesn't do rational thought when it comes to issues with women. I was the only one to stand up to him - to call the police - to wait and settle in court instead of just skulking away. I haven't caved in - and since this is a different situation, I cannot use historical behavior to project what he might do.

There is also the factor of his brother - a not very stable man who told me to my face that he'd be happy to off me for the cost of a dime bag. Same guy hits his wife and threatened me when I tried to move my things out of the house. He scares me - almost as much as the Ogre - and it would not shock me if he were willing to continue the search for us - just out of spite - or whatever family dishonor I brought by agreeing to divorce his no good brother.

A part of me wants to just ignore this - since it is the past - and let it go away. But it was that desire to push it out of my mind that put me in the position of such shock last week. I don't want to do that again. I want to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best and I haven't done a very good job with this particular thing. There are things to be done - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, you know.

And Joy comes in the Morning

Did you ever get that story by e-mail about the farmer and his wife who were visited by angels? They didn't have much but they shared what they had freely. During the night, the cow died. The first angel asked the second angel - why did we take their cow? They were so kind to us. The second angel answers, "I took their kindness into consideration and asked God if I could take the cow instead of taking the wife like I was supposed to."


This morning I have some perspective - and since I am still typing, and have not been accosted by a psychotic ex husband, I am inclined to believe that the incident was random - probably kids playing in the woods. There has been no further drama - other than the unfortunate demise of a possum last night. I think it has been a good lesson - that we need to keep our guard up and stay safe. We will also go on the offensive - and instead of waiting for the Ogre to show up, we will keep tabs on him.

There is a lot to be thankful for - it was the goats, not the kids.
Burger King graciously made my breakfast and got my order right
We had enough money to buy lights when we needed them - and Josh said the yard was "cool"
Everyone got to sleep last night - though a bit late
We had family and friends offer to help - and mean it
Justin's flight went without incident - and he got home in one piece
And Josh finally was rewarded for his hard work: Last night at practice, he was moved up front eh B team to the A team - seems the coach was impressed by how hard he was working at practice. The B team was a pretty big blow to him since he had started both offense and defense at home - and now was getting in every tenth offensive play - translated that means he was working every day in practice and not getting much game time.

The promotion to the A team also means that my big conflict problem of overlapping football games and having to choose which son to go see - is also over. Jake has variable times for his games, but Josh's are evening games - eliminating my problem - and filling my Saturdays to the brim with FOOTBALL.

Make it Through the Night

I will give a better account later - I am late to teach a class. Last night went okay - didn't get much sleep, but we all woke up safe and sound.

Thankful for another day - and thankful for all of my friends who prayed for us over the last 24 hours.

Angels Watching Over Me My Lord

I try not to ask for things unless I desperately need them - but I am asking you to pray for our protection. Jerra and I have both been having vivid nightmares about Dan, the ex husband who threatened to kill us - for the first time since November of last year. I am not sure what has triggered this, but I am genuinely scared that he has found us.

I have dismissed this feeling for a while - but last night someone came on our property and shot our goats and a duck who were all in the same pen at close range. Another duck has a wound that grazed the skin, but she seems to be alright. The pen in very close to the house - and it was not done accidentally - we think it was about 2 am when we heard someone outside.

A police report has been filed and Animal Control is investigating, but it still leaves us with a feeling of - violation- of fear - I don't know - I just feel like I want to sit down and cry.

We are frightened and I have done everything I know to do - it is up to God now to protect us and I am asking you to please talk to Him and ask him to protect us from this threat.

Sorry that this seems a bit dramatic - but please stop for a minute and ask God to send His Angels to surround the house and our family.

Thank you - Stace

Well, thanks MSN

I took the quiz, shoulda known better - as a woman who cannot tell if things match - thus the presence of A LOT of black in my wardrobe - the MSN quiz has confirmed my worst fears - I am not a fashionista.

Trusting my Gut - even though I don't want to...

Actually, I trust my instincts - but I don't believe they are accidental. It feels like God is whispering something to me - "I'm not trying to frighten you, but I want you to prepare and be ready for something, just in case."

I found out yesterday afternoon what it was that triggered my instincts. On Friday, the Japanese ladies that were in a car accident with my daughter two years ago filed suit for the remainder of their expenses. Both Dan the Ogre and my daughter are listed in the suit. This means that he will be PISSED beyond belief - a lawsuit means that he will have to part with more of his money. Additionally, he did not list me on the title of said wrecked vehicle - so I am not listed on the suit- and my daughter was a minor when it happened - so I think the burden will fall to him. And since money is the center of his universe - this will not sit well - based on past behavior - he will want money from me as well as revenge for dragging his name through the mud.

We fixed the locks - notified the neighbors - made sure that the restraining order is on file with the police and made sure the gun is loaded and the safety is off. I no longer think I am overreacting - I think he will hire someone to try to find us - and with a professional license and kids in school, I am not sure how "disappeared" I am.

Goosebumps

I have been fighting this feeling deep down - one that I haven't felt in a long time. After we had been here a month, I felt safe here - like the horror that chased us here couldn't find us. Then about two weeks ago, a bill came from my old clinic - and it was addressed to me at the current address - maybe that was the trigger. If enough people were careless, the Ogre could get our address.

For the last five days I have been having flashes - waking up at night and walking the house again, worried that the locks might not be safe - worried that my kids are at risk - worried that he might find us - or worse, that he already has.

Maybe the trigger was the guy who came to the house a couple of weeks ago - asking Jake if he could go down to the creek and look for snakes. He was in a uniform and it made me wonder if he was from teh DNR - or if he was a PI that the Dan the Ogre contracted to find us. Does the DNR send folks out to private property? Was it some guy from a local university - or was it someone snooping around? I don't know, but my instincts tell me something isn't right.

I haven't said anything - mostly because I don't have enough sense to worry the people around me when I probably should - but today, Jerra told me that she has been having nightmares about Dan again. They started about the same time mine did - and two sets of intuition are probably not wrong.

So if you are reading this, Dan, or your buddy in Estes Park has figured out how to find us - know that there are several loaded guns with in our home which we will gladly use to protect ourselves if necessary. My husband has a handy collection of knives and a copy of the restraining order against you is filed at the local police department and you are not welcome here - as I have said plainly before. I feel angry - and violated that a thought of you and your hateful words even casts a shadow on the life I have now - but such is the aftermath of the emotional and physical abuse that you put the kids and I through- the scars are so strong...

We have now resumed programming

My daughter has finally caught up her blog - after being without internet for A LONG TIME, she posted like 10 things the first day. Stop by and say hi - and read about what fantastic parents we are ( insert sarcasm here) My favorite part is her public outing of my advice to punch someone in the face in her Ugly Duckling post - yep, there goes mom of the year.


oh - yea - and the chick had it coming.

The Reason

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.

I'd like to pass on Bishop T.D. Jakes "8 Second Prayer.", in honor of my girl Lora - who has seen first hand that God will restore a son to someone who lost him and restore a bigger and better job if we are willing to wait and remain faithful even when waiting STINKS.
"Lord, I love You and I need You, come into my heart, and bless me,
my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."

I have been working on a post about why I believe as I do - but I thought this morning when I looked at this picture - the reason that I believe is that even when I am an ASS, God has remained faithful to me, working miracles in my life every day. There is no other explanation that makes any sense.
Thanks Alison for forwarding this today - the timing was excellent.

Puberty

Yesterday on the way to football practice, I asked Jacob how school went. The conversation went like this:
Jake: Well, today we learned about puberty.
Mom: Really? What did you learn?
Jake: They put the boys in one room and the girls in another.
Mom: Did you watch a movie?
Jake: There was a lot of stuff they talked about. Lots of girls have already started puberty and their large bones grow faster. When boys start, they get all embarrassed about talking to girls.
Mom: Did they talk about changes in your body?
Jake : Well, when you start to grow hair on your penis, then that is pretty much the sign that you are in puberty.
Mom: Did they talk about how sometimes the penis will act funny
Jake: Yea, like if you have a special kind of relationship with a girl, it can misbehave.


Again at dinner I asked Jake to tell the family what he had learned - since it had seemed he got most of the lesson - all he said was: "Well, when your penis starts to get hairy - that is pretty much a big sign!"

On religion and being Catholic on purpose

The longer I do this blogging thing - the more perspectives I get on religion. Lots of people have had bad experiences - and the part that troubles me is that we tend to throw the baby out with teh bath water. I was always taught that chruch was a haven for sinners - a place of rest - and not a congregation of saints ( that alone changed teh perspective, I know)

Fixing the Crack in the Mirror

I come home after another long day
And peeling away the mud from the yard
I see my own reflection in the mirror

My face is happy- older but happy
the sun has kissed my shoulders
Making them shiny and brown

And as I ready for the shower, I see the parts
Of my own self that I am not happy with
And the happiness on my face is clouded

Irrational thoughts about parts that are out of balance
Skin hidden from sun and stretched from babies
I see myself, knowing it is a part of me - finding it repulsive

Then you come home as I am fresh from the shower
your face is salty from the heat
And you kiss me and say that you love me

Even when my soul is naked before you.

Help - the Figs are overtaking my House!

Being new to the South, I have never had a fig tree - now I have a fig tree that is about 30 feet high and about 30 feet in diameter. Due to all the rain, or so I have been told, the tree has felt especially prolific - I filled up a gallon bucket of figs already - and that isn't even half the amount on the tree. Bear has been trying to help me keep up with the picking - but there is more tree than we can handle. The yard is just awash in color as birds come flying in to partake from the branches I cannot reach. I'm pretty sure the barking from the dogs was instigated by a possum trying ti grab a couple from the tree - and the squirrels are braving dog-infested waters to try to gather a couple for themselves. The only player missing is our hawk - though she is probably coming by early enough in the morning that I am missing her.

I have been out every day trying to pick the ripe figs - having been told I will know they are ripe the day after the birds have eaten them all. Sunday, Justin came out to check on me and I was half way up the tree, my shirt tied up to try to accommodate more figs than my hands could hold, leaves in my hair- but I have figs - green and chocolate brown on the outside, coral pink flesh inside and sticky sweetness - so maybe my appearance doesn't matter so much!

So this is my cry for help - any ideas on recipes for figs - I have about a ZILLION and I don't want to waste them. The trusted Blue Book didn't have anything about dehydrating and the jam didn't sound very appetizing - another recipe would be great. I have a dehydrator - and I have canning equipment - so any ideas would be welcome! Help a girl out! There are only so many figs I can eat off the tree...So recipes are welcome.

I'll be fussing about pecans soon- hope I don't bore you to tears!

The Power of Two

Scars are stronger than skin. I have lots of scars, many which
I have inflicted myself, by refusing to dodge bullets I should have seen
There is a dual nature within, joined by the scars. One on the outside, easily seen
The one that people can believe in. The other is deeper, hidden, watching.

Outside I am strong, I am confident I am powerful outside, broad-shouldered
I am a mother, a caregiver, a daughter, a Christian, a friend, and lover on occasion.
Outside, I am honorable and good, I don’t hold grudges, I sleep soundly
I love my family and friends, I honor my parents and go to church

I work hard – frantically when I am hurt; I love deeply and quickly
I sing with the radio, whistle while cooking dinner; I play in the dirt and watch things grow
I tend sick puppies, sick children and ailing spirits thirsting for comfort
I don’t balance my checkbook, I forget birthdays, and I cannot always tell if my clothes match

Inside there is the secret spirit; she is strong and weak at once
She circles and sniffs and tastes the winds to see what is coming
She is fortified by grace, strengthened, as time and time again
Pleas to God are answered in ways I could never have imagined

The spirit inside dreams solutions to problems still on the verge of Consciousness
The spirit hears the change in the sounds of the birds and crickets
She senses the change in the trees, she sees small changes in the voice
Or the sleep or the gait and the eyes and identifies the danger

This spirit feels anger - rage, wanting both revenge and peace
The spirit fights for survival sewing together wounds left to bleed
The deep secret knowing senses that being alone too long is dangerous
She knows the difference between love and infatuation

To really love a woman, to love myself, there must be a knowledge and love of both
The profane and the sacred combining into the vision of who the self really is
An understanding that the same woman who cooks your breakfast has needs
Way beyond food and water - a need for the soul to ravish and consume, a need to breathe

A shortcut for suckers

We had to go to the feed store for duck food - after sitting for two hours in the blazing sun during Jake's football Jamboree. I decided to take a shortcut home, avoiding the traffic in town, so we took off down this lovely country lane. Then we saw the sign - flanked by balloons: BABY BUNNIES FOR SALE. Yep, you guessed it, we are now the proud owners of a lovely white Rex bunny speckled with black - named Dot. Couldn't resist - she is very tine - about the size of the palm of my hand. We oohed and aahed over the girl until it was time for yet another Jamboree. ( the picture on the right is what she'll look like grown)

Sunday morning, Bear came home from her friends' house and of course she wanted a bunny - so we sneaked off and picked up one of Dot's sisters - a lovely black bunny. ( the bunny on the left si what she'll look like grown)The gentleman checked to see that they are both girls - but if you know the stories - there is no way to be sure at this age since their "jewels" haven't become evident yet. So hopefully we will have two bunnies - and only two bunnies - but one can never tell.

For the record I didn't

My buddy YoJ had a - well an interesting event with her son - that reminded me of a story I'd love to share - if only to share her pain for a minute.

When Josh was about two and a half, we were at Olive Garden for a birthday lunch with my mom, dad and Jerra. I was a single mom at the time, so Olive Garden was a big treat. We were situated at a table in the garden area that had an umbrella. Our salads had been brought and we were just about ready for lunch when Josh leans over and says that he has to go to the bathroom.

Since we are in a nice resturant, I tell him that Grandpa will have to take him to the boys room. The conversation went like this:
Me: Honey, grandpa will take you because he is a boy, too.
Josh: Why can't you take me?
Me: Because I am not a boy - you and Grandpa are boys
JOsh: Why are we boys and not you
Me: because I'm a girl -you boys have a penis - and I don't have a penis
Josh: Oh, momma yes you do - it's in the drawer under the sink in your bathroom.

While this solved a problem for Josh - since now I could take him to the bathroom - a whole other set of problems presented themselves - since we were at lunch with my PARENTS!Laughter ensued - Dad did take him to the bathroom - my folks still don't believe that I didn't have a "penis" in my bathroom drawer.

Fence Hopping

This morning, I went to the goat pen - as I do every morning. The goats were particularly noisy - owing I thought - to the fact that the ducks keep mucking up their water trough. Half way through the yard, I realize that the goats have jumped ship as it were and were happily munching on my raspberry canes - and thinking about my highbush blueberies. Can't blame the girls for havign good taste.

The gate is closed - so I can only assume that they hopped the fence- possible, but not probable. I looked around the pen - no holes - so now I have fence hopping goats - to add to the fence-hopping dogs. This weekend I HAVE to work on their grazing area so that they can roam free... silly goats.

Thank you

Last night - while I was on my third day of Dentist ordered bedrest - and a lot of Ibuprofen, my husband - who chose his own moniker in the sidebar - added a blog roll and also a link to a set of blogs whose roll I joined. While the second one is called the bitch club, I have found lots of strong and intelligent women on the roll, click if it piques your interest, I thoroughly enjoyed reading lots of these blogs. Not all are G-rated, though, so it is only fair to warn you.

Anyway - wanted to say thanks for my dear hubby's hard work - and also let you know that I am not done with the blogroll - several folks that I read almost daily are missing - I didn't forget you.

And the root canal is done, the swelling is gone - we can resume normal programming now.

Duck pictures

First, pictures of the ducks still in the box from the post office - and then the baby ducks. The yellow ones are Buff Orphingtons and will get about as big as our white Pekin in the next picture. All the darker babies are Indian Runners.


Then our three ducks - who are now teenagers - the black one is Ripley who survived the dog attack.

Opossable Thumbs

Bear and Scout - our older two dogs - were put in the outdoor pen this morning - I saw Josh do it. When I came home at lunchtime to drop off my daughter, there they were in the kitchen, wagging their tails. The doors are all closed - so I can only devise that they have developed opposable thimbs which enabled them to open and then close the doors - and climb the fence.

Flight of the Lunar Moth

Bedtime came not a moment too soon last night - I was tired and the feeling has returned to my tooth - so I was ready for a rest. The boys were tucked in bed when all of a sudden I saw something at the window - it looked like a hummingbird though I couldn't imagine why one would be at the window at 9 in the evening. Josh sprung out of bed and determined that it was a Lunar Moth. The boys stood at the window while the moth tried to get in. They went around to the front porch to get a better look - the moth had to be at least 6 inches long, the wings were phosphorescent - with a pale yellow "glow-in-the-dark" look. She was fantastic to watch.

As we came into the living room ,Josh was on the front porch getting a better look. She liked him and landed on his bare chest a couple of times as she continued to try to come into the house. Finally, we rounded everyone up and went back to bed while the moth continued to try to come in through the picture window. It was a lovely visit. I've never seen anything like her up close and wanted to share the picture with you.

IN other news - Wal-Mart found my pictures, but in the hurry to leave this morning and drop off SOMEONE who missed the bus - I forgot the disk, so I'll have to post the ducks and goats tomorrow.

My girlfriend in Dallas finally found a job - and in a blessing like Justin's last year - it was not what she expected, and she ended up making more money than she ever anticipated. God is very busy.

This morning I was rushing trying to get everyone dropped off before I had to be at work- traffic stinks with school back in session - so I wasn't sure I'd make it. All of a sudden traffic parted - and I lifted my eyes and told God - thanks - you are really good at that. And somewhere in the back of my mind I thought I heard Him laugh - Well, if I can part the Red Sea, surely I can make a break in traffic! I started laughing and surely the other driver thought I had lost it.

On Being Marlon Brando

On Thursday, it started, my tooth with a temporary filling, started getting sore and I knew that I needed antibiotics - but the weekend schedule with football and work wouldn't allow me to escape to the Urgent care. I waited it out, hoping the Ibuprofen would be enough. Oops. By Saturday afternoon, I was trying every remedy I could think of to eliminate the pressure, but it wasn't working. I had made arrangements to take Justin out to dinner and spend the night at a room with a whirlpool to help ease the itchiness from his shingles - so I put it off another day. Saturday night, it hit. The pain was so intense that even after borrowing one of his Lortabs. I couldn't sleep. I paced the floor thinking that this was a rare occurrence - me awake and him sleeping.

Sunday was kind of a blur - I kept taking Ibuprofen every four hours like clockwork - then we had to get ready for Mass. I couldn't stay through the whole service, the nausea from too much Ibuprofen was catching up with me. We had agreed to take Jerra out to dinner - so I ended up at Red Lobster with only a bowl of chowder ( which I couldn't' finish) and a couple of Sprites. As we left, I knew it was the beginning of the end - pulling out of the parking lot my nausea caught up with me. IN all my glory, I escaped the car just in time to throw up all over the parking lot - managing to get my shoes and pants. Next thing I knew Justin was there holding my hair back. You know that only a true friend holds your hair back when you throw up. He walked me around a bit, I rinsed off my feet in a puddle - threw my shoes in the trunk just in case - then realized that my pants were a mess - so I took them off - much to the horror of my kids who had now witnessed me throwing up and sitting in the car in my underwear. Justin took them gingerly and also put them in the trunk.

I took a shower when I got home, and that is when I noticed it - the swelling starting at the jawline on my left side. By 4 am I had such swelling that the left side of my face was numb from the pressure on the nerve - and I looked like Two Face - one side was me - the other was Marlon Brando - the Godfather version not "STELLA" version.

I called in to my boss - and when I couldn't' get her, I went by my office where my coworkers confirmed that I would scare my patients. Luckily for me, Justin's family still uses the dentist he had as a child. His office was very kind and he worked me in before 9.

He looked at my chart, looked at my tooth, reminded me that I should know better than to neglect my own health - and then put me on bedrest for the next three days. (If an abscess becomes systemic, a person can have septicemia - blood poisoning and that is a whole other form of trouble) Oh yea, he made me take the penicillin right there in the office so that he knew I had taken it. I really liked him - and liked that he was concerned enough about me to be a little pushy.

I stayed in bed most of the day yesterday - and the swelling is going down. There is still a lump, but nothing like yesterday morning. I'm back at work today, but since most of the day is spend sitting, I think this should be okay. So, if I am scarce for the next couple of days, you'll know it's because I am trying to restore my face so that my husband is not looking at Marlon Brando when he wakes up!

Set the Alarm for Dawn

The Colts play the Falcons in Japan tomorrow morning at 5 am our time - then ESPN replays the game at 6pm - right in the middle of dinner - poop. So I am setting the alarm for dawn so that I can watch part of the game. It's an addiction folks - what can I say!

Favorite things

I am starting to recover my brain after three horrendous weeks - but apparently last weekend I didn't have it together. I rolled over Sunday morning and told Justin that I should marry him because I love him so much. So the good news is that in my sleepy state, I thought I was having an affair with my husband - definitely a plus.

I am still way over excited about the weekend. I need a break - I know that my plight isn't unusual for working moms - but I am at the end of my rope and I need a break. My girlfriend at work relayed some hot spots to me and I am anxious for date night. Yahoo has this great travel section that lets you pick an address and search for nearby restaurants - very, very nice.

My cousin is graduating this weekend - two kids, a mortgage and a couple of husbands later - she is phenomenal and I have learned so much from her. My favorite suggestion from her - and a real life saver for me, was a gift box. I now have a big Rubbermaid bin that holds all of the presents I buy in advance of birthdays, babies, anniversaries, and Christmas. Thanks Christina - it has saved me a lot of looking. Stephanie's baby present is there, a Christmas present for Mom is there, and a couple of things for the boys are stashed , but I have no idea what they were.

Have you ever shopped Burt's Bees online? They make the world's best lip balm - but their other skin products are great as well. They have a "seconds" area on the website where I have gotten some fantastic deals. They will ship for free if you order more than $45. More importantly, they are environmentally friendly, using the profits to buy up forest to prevent development of those areas. The Poison Ivy soap is a godsend - and it works. I buy tons of it for after gardening. Click them and check it out.

Mother Earth News - their online spot will allow you to look for back articles about everything you ever wanted to know from making your own casket to canning heirloom tomatoes.

Freecycle is group on Yahoo! - they post unwanted items to save them from the trash. You can either clean out your garage or fill it up with other people's treasures. Reminds me of a garage sale via e-mail. Worth checking ot see if you have one locally.

Hopefully we will get the blog format updated this weekend - I have been checking out a load of new blogs and I hope to share the links with you!

I got a secret

I made super secret plans for the hubby and I ( See, I told you that I have to FIX things - must be the Border Collie in me). since I was whining about needing more time alone with him. I am so excited - and it seems the stars have aligned to provide us with a football-less evening to enjoy. Couldn't be more psyched!

Friday - football until 10 pm
Saturday football until 2
Sunday football pictures at 2:15

Thank you stars for finally cutting me some slack!

How Many Dogs Does it Take

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?


1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

I Can't Stand to Fly

My husband calls me Wonder Woman - and though it is meant as a compliment, some days I feel like this gal - all dressed up in a costume that just doesn't work for me.

Things are hectic - anyone reading either of our blogs can see that there is a lot of tension because of the workload, and now he's sick. I have been picking up the slack at home - mostly because he doesn't get home until late in the evening. He has been picking up one of the boys from practice - we're rotating which boy - then coming home to do more work. There is no point in making plans because the threat to traveling again looms largely overhead.

Somedays it stinks to be Wonder Woman. It's a fascade - mostly a workable one - but a fascade none the less. Just because I juggle things well out of years of habit, doesn't mean it makes me happy or fulfilled. It has become a necessity - not a pleasure - to get things done and still be working at 11 each night. If I were helpless - if I were needy - if the house fell apart - would there be a bigger effort to make sure my needs were being met? I have a friend with a lot of needs - people seem to come out to the woodwork to offer their help - I am getting a bit more assistance from the kids - but I think that is boredom at the end of summer break. Then I remember, I am a mom first and my needs have taken a back seat ( literally and figuratively) for a long time. But this week, I want to stop being wonder woman.

I know that this will pass, but weeks and weeks of what seems like a frantic pace are taking their toll. I need about eight more hours in a day, I need sleep, I need garden time, I need wife time ( the great surprise getaway I planned for this weekend - shot by football interference both Saturday and Sunday) and I really need a pedicure. Girl has to have her priorities straight.

Thanks a lot buddy

To the person who designed our office - so that if you have to use the restroom with thin walls bordering all the offices so that EVERYONE in the other offices can hear you pee - even with the water on....

To the person who decided to move football practice for the boys to the SAME TIME at fields twenty minutes apart - so that I have to drive like a mad woman to get there

To the doctor at Purina who informed me via e-mail that ducks and goats are two very different breeds and should have different foods (Holy mazoley, they are in my back yard, I think I can see that they are different breeds, Einstein.)

To my children who have the sudden need to call me nine times in one day to ask about masking tape, ice cream availability, and a chin strap while I am trying to teach.

To the policeman who came to practice last night and gave out tickets for parking in the circle by our field since the parking lot is about half a mile away and it is 90 degrees and our kids are in full gear. So glad you weren't doing something more constructive like chasing down pedophiles - those tickets should bring some great revenue.

To the spider who keeps making a web in the cellar - knock it off - I am so tired walking into your web every morning!

To the doctors who sent me this morning's prize patient - a guy wearing an insulin pump who has no idea that it is giving him 2 units an hour and no concept of how to give his insulin at mealtime. Great job letting this guy wear a pump for the last three weeks - lucky he isn't in intensive care.

To Justin's company who are causing everyone in the group to work ungodly hours to try to keep up - thanks a lot, we're newlyweds and I have to give up my evenings and weekends to the stupid FRS and project work, falling asleep to the sounds of him typing instead of kissing me good night.

To my Prizm which just endured $3,000 in repairs, thank you for having the tail lights out inconveniently during a period of time where I cannot drop you off at the dealership to get fixed. I look forward to the ticket I'll probably get from the above mentioned police man.

To the charts that keep disappearing - march your little butts back into the file like you belong. I have enjoyed playing hide and seek with you, but I'm over that now, you need to go back.

To the air conditioner and refrigerator who decided that this week of 90 degree weather would be a good time to go on the fritz - I'm hot and cranky and it isn't gong to be pretty when I take a sledge hammer and beat the snot out of you for making my butter rancid and my spinach salad mushy.

Fish in the Sea

This past weekend, Justin picked up Jake from football practice. They headed over to the gas station afterwards so that he could get a drink. The conversation went someting like this:
Counter Lady : Oh, are you playing football this year
Jake: yea
Justin: Yes Maam
Jake : Yes maam

Counter lady: are you enjoying it
Jake: Yes Maam

As they leave the store:
Jake: Justin, why do you always make me say "yes maam"?
Justin: Jake, it shows that you have good manners. Girls like it when you have good manners. That is what helped me land your momma.

Jake: OOOHHH, then I definitely need to say yes maam. I want to land me one of those!

Holy Moley, the things that child says.

I want to quit - not my job, his

Can a wife quit her husband's job? I'm not sure...but after three weeks of tough - after-hours-still working on the computer at midnight- working through the weekends, I have about had it.

This is a tender area - he likes the job - it keeps his brain busy, they seem to appreciate his abilities, he has people there he can buddy up with. Neither of us like the hours and the traveling. Seems like neither of us can do much to fix it - I feel like I have to carry the load - and he feels bad that I have to carry the load. I hate feeling like a whiney wife - I don't do whiney very well - upsets me, surely it upsets him - and I don't know what to do. Loner's don't whine, we fix things -and I can't fix this for either of us.

I worry that going back into single parent mode will get comfortable for us - then we are back to me running the family and the household - and he is back to " insert husband into slot B to complete the family". I worry about feeding my addiction to seeing him, just being around him and feeling the rejuvenation from someone who loves me.

It is not what either of us envisioned, not what either of us want as a reality for our lives. So Since I can't quit his job, I will have to adjust mine - my hours, my priorities, so that things get done.

We did get the ducklings into a bigger pen - and if Wal-Mart hadn't lost my pictures, I would be posting them. Instead, I am taking more this week. I lengthened the goat pen so that they can graze on the overgrown area in the back yard - you can just never have too much chicken wire. The kids helped in the yard- and with school starting, we should get back in to a better rhythm again.

I miss my husband, and I know that this will pass. I never had a husband that I missed before - and for the ability to miss someone and pine away for one more moment together, I am eternally grateful.